Here we go again
by Jiwa
Summary: When Ianto Jones died in the Thames House, he didn't expect to wake up in the past. And what he definitely didn't expect, was that with his knowledge about the future, he had the power to change everything. Janto. COE fix!it fic. Cover art by Mad-Hattie.
1. Prologue

**A/N: **This idea just came to me today, and I had to write it down. I will probably continue it, but because this is my first attempt at writing a fic that has only canon characters in it, I won't make any promises about how fast I will continue. Please review and tell me what you think, and if you are interested to read more, tell me. This will be sort of a COE fix!it fic.

Huge thanks to **Kausingkayn** for beta reading this chapter! She's amazing.

**Disclaimer:** Torchwood belongs to BBC. Cover art by Mad-Hattie. I do gain any profit from writing this.

* * *

><p><em><em>He's lying there, in Jack's arms, gasping for breath as death tightens its grip on him. Jack looks down at him, tears in his eyes, desperately cradling his body closer and rocking him soothingly.<em>_

_"_It's all my fault," Jack sobs.__

_"_No, it's not." Jack shouldn't be blaming himself.__

_"_Don't speak; save your breath," Jack says, and touches his face gently.__

__He knows that he only has moments left, so he says it. He knows he shouldn't, that it will only hurt Jack more, but he has to say it.__

_"_I love you."__

__He can see Jack shaking his head. "Don't."__

__Everything gets blurry. There's a silence, and for a moment he just hears Jack breathing in gasps and hovering over him. Then a voice is calling him, Jack, shaking him, willing him to stay awake.__

__"Ianto. Ianto? Ianto, stay with me. Ianto, stay with me please – stay with me, stay with me, please!" His eyelids start feeling heavy, but he refuses to shut them yet, as he knows that it will be for the last time. He glances upwards, eyes filled with tears.__

__"Hey," he breathes."It was... good, yeah?"__

__"Yeah."__

__"Don't forget me."__

__"Never could." Jack's fighting the sobs now.__

__"A thousand year's time... You won't remember me." His lover is silent, breathing in broken gasps, the tears falling down his face. Jack sounds broken. He's the man who can't be fixed.__

__"Yes I will. I promise, I will," Jack says desperately, and he has to fight to hear the words. The pain is breaking him, he feels his death coming... A blip in time... Broken... He's aware of Jack chanting his name as he closes his eyes. Then the darkness consumes him, for the final time.__

He wakes up. Gasping, he lays there, frozen in place as his brain slowly tries to comprehend what the hell just happened. He died. Then he woke up. After __dying.__

Ianto Jones gasps for a few moments before sitting up, looking around and realizing that he is in his flat. Just his ordinary flat. Is this what heaven is like? Trapped in ordinary and boring apartments, for all eternity, all alone. He looks down and notices that he's wearing his own pyjamas. Actually, his old pyjamas, the ones he had thrown away almost a year ago. What a strange choice of clothing for the afterlife.

He touches his face. Yep, he definitely feels alive, but how could he really know? It's not like he has died before. Wait, there's something different about his face. He can't feel the little scar he had there. Had it healed when he died?

He shrugs it off and finally stands up. The floor is cold, but he doesn't care. He just wanders through his apartment and heads for the bathroom. Maybe he has wings now. Wings and a halo. Or maybe horns and bat wings. He had done some pretty bad things after all. Working for Torchwood and all that.

But no, his reflection doesn't show any remarkable differences. He's only missing the little scar on his face; in it's place are circles under his eyes and the sickly pale-colored skin. He had almost forgotten looking like that once. Back then when Lisa had been... When Lisa was still hidden in the cellars under the hub, he had looked exactly like the person in the mirror.

While he's staring at his reflection his eyes widen a bit. Why would he look like this after dying? Why would he be reminded of her death? Is he in hell?

Absentmindedly he brushes his teeth, figuring that it couldn't do any harm whether he was in heaven or hell, and fixes his hair. Then he changes into his day clothes and wanders towards the kitchen. On the way, he notices something even stranger than a missing scar. The morning paper is lying on the floor before the front door. That's odd, he thinks. Morning papers in after life?

He picks it up on the way to the kitchen and out of habit, starts making coffee.

After he sits down and takes the first sip from a mug of excellent coffee, he glances down at the paper. And promply spits the coffee out. The date on the corner of the paper says clearly as day: __14th of July, 2007__. The day he met Gwen for the first time.

Oh, he thinks. Maybe I am in hell after all.


	2. Yes sir, no sir

**A/N:** Thanks for your reviews! I was surprised to notice that I had gotten as many as five reviews over night, which has never happened before. Heh, well anyway, I decided to keep writing, and here's the first proper chapter. This is seriously my first attempt at writing anything even remotely close to slash, so don't expect too much from me.

**Disclaimer: **Torchwood belongs to BBC.

* * *

><p><strong><strong>Chapter 1: Yes sir, no sir.<strong>**

He didn't really believe that he had traveled back in time to the very beginning. Why would he? The morning paper was probably just a prank played by some neighbour kids, and the whole dying thing had been just a dream; even though it hadn't felt like one. It had been so real and vivid - he had died in Jack's arms. Told him he loved him.

Of course, it could be the afterlife. The situation surely seemed like some kind of purgatory.

Rubbing his eyes tiredly, Ianto looked through the cupboards, looking for something that he could eat for breakfast. The cupboards were empty, just as they had been the time when Lisa had still been alive. He hadn't really bought any food, because the only time he came to his flat was when he needed to sleep.

Well, he could grab something for breakfast from the cafe he frequently visited in the mornings. It's not like he didn't have the money anyway; he barely ever used his pay cheques for any other purpose than buying more clothes for work.

Ianto took the car keys and headed towards the Hub. He realized it probably wasn't the best time for him to drive a car, but he couldn't just walk the whole distance in his suit. It would look stupid, not to mention that people would start suspecting that he was high or something similarly discriminating, because he could feel his eyes widening as he drove through the city and looked around. The situation was only now starting to sink in. He had died. He had died, then woken up. He had died and then returned to life in the past.

Ianto slammed down the breaks, almost hitting a car in front of him. That was really close. Taking a deep breath, he slowly parked his car to the side of the road and decided to walk the rest of the way. The coffee place wasn't that much further away, and Cardiff Bay was only a few hundred meters down the road.

After leaving the coffee shop, he headed towards the hub, carrying a brown paper package with muffins and a sandwich. He took deep, calming breaths. The air smelled like Cardiff. It couldn't be anywhere but Cardiff. He was in Cardiff. Alive. Carrying muffins to work.

The absurdness of the situation almost made him laugh. This was the day that Gwen would come to the tourist office, carrying pizza with her and Jack would introduce her to Janet, then later have her retconned.

He stepped inside the tourist office, and froze in place. If he had really travelled in time, then Owen and Tosh were still alive. Lisa, too.

"Oh god, I can't do this," he breathed out faintly and felt his feet moving on their own accord towards the nearest place to sit, which happened to be the cold floor of the tourist office. He collapsed there, leaning towards the wall, still holding his breakfast in his hands.

That's how Toshiko found him.

"Ianto, are you okay?" she asked, having just stepped inside the tourist office and noticed Ianto there, sitting on the floor with a paper package in his hands.

Ianto looked up at her, blinking and trying not to cry. "Tosh?"

Toshiko helped him to stand up and took the package from him. "Ianto, are you ill? Do you need Owen to take a look at you?" She asked, sounding worried.

"No... I'm..." he muttered, still staring at Tosh and not really believing his eyes. It had been a very long time since he had last seen her.

"You what?" Tosh tried to get him talk.

"I'm just... Tired. Yes... I had the strangest dream last night," he muttered. "Something about toasters."

She eyed him a bit suspiciously but let the matter drop. She opened the secret door to the Hub and gestured for him to go first.

"You look like you need a good cup of coffee," she said as they walked through the cog-wheel door.

Ianto looked at her oddly. Oh, right, they weren't exactly friends at this point. "And I supposed you would like to have one too?"

She looked at him sheepishly and nodded, heading towards her desk. Ianto couldn't take his eyes off her, afraid that she would disappear. After a minute, when he was quite sure that she wouldn't just vaporize into thin air, he went to the kitchen, where his hands automatically started making coffee.

As he lifted the tray full of coffee mugs, he noticed what he had gotten wrong. He had made coffee for only Gwen, Jack and himself. He had forgotten Toshiko's and Owen's cups. And Suzie's. He couldn't just take the tray to them like that, so instead he took his own cup and and sat down to the little chair he had positioned there a few weeks before – or was it actually years before? His head hurt and he didn't know what to do.

He faintly heard Owen yelling to nobody in particular about his missing coffee, but he couldn't stand up because he wasn't sure if his legs could take it. As he took a sip of his coffee he also noticed that his hands were shaking. Of all the odd things that had happened to him due to Torchwood, this was undoubtedly the strangest and the scariest. He had never felt so helpless, just sitting there and not knowing what to do. The morning was beginning to look very bad.

"Ianto, where's my coffee?" Jack asked from the kitchen doorway. Ianto didn't bother looking up.

"On the table, Jack."

"Ooh, you finally lost the 'sir'?" Jack chuckled and took his coffee, but after glancing at Ianto, who didn't even look at him, he put it down. Something wasn't quite right.

"Ianto?"

He looked up. And there he was, Jack as he had been years ago. So much younger and less burdened. He looked almost happy, although Ianto knew that he wasn't. Blinking, Ianto swallowed, knowing that this wasn't the same Jack who had held him as he died.

"Jack. What day is it?"

"Wednesday?" Jack tried, looking at him strangely.

"No. I mean, what day, what month and what year?" Ianto said, finally having the strength to stand up. He put the coffee mug down on the counter. Jack was eyeing him closely.

"14th of July, 2007. Ianto, is something wrong?" he asked, sounding a little more serious now.

Ianto just looked him straight in the eye for almost a minute.

"No," he said at last, looking away. "Nothing is wrong."

Jack seemed suspicious but let it go, just like Tosh had. Ianto knew that because of his stupid question, his boss would now be extremely cautious. But Jack only took a sip of his coffee and started walking away. Ianto did _not_ stare at his ass. "Well you might want to make your usual rounds of coffee, then."

"Yes, sir," Ianto muttered. He couldn't tell Jack about his knowledge when he wasn't sure if it was real himself. Maybe it really had been just a dream. He had to see if the things happened the way they had in his dream. If they did... Then he would tell Jack.

The place was really starting to seem even more like purgatory.

Later the same day, as he was sitting in the tourist office, not really knowing what to do and thinking about what to do to Lisa, Jack came to see him.

"That police girl has been standing outside for a while now," Ianto said as nonchalantly as he could, not looking up from the computer screen. He heard Jack stopping beside him.

"Yeah, what do you reckon she's gonna to do?" Jack asked with an amused smile, not really expecting an answer.

"I bet you ten quid that she's going to pretend to be a pizza delivery girl and she will actually bring pizza with her," Ianto said before he could stop himself. He shouldn't have said that, but what harm could it do? He wasn't even completely sure if it would happen.

He looked up at Jack who was staring at him with a surprised grin on his face. "No, that would be unfair, because I think she's gonna do that too."

Ianto just stared at him silently and said as seriously as he could: "And then you're going to say that you have no money?"

Jack laughed loudly. "Yes, actually, that's exactly what I'm going to say."

"You're so predictable, Jack," Ianto said bluntly, even thought he didn't mean it. Not really. He was predictable only when one had woken up in the past and knew what Jack was going to say.

Jack's grin widened. "And there it is again."

"What?"

"The lack of _sir,__"_ Jack said, smirking.

Ianto scowled faintly. This old Jack was more pushy than he had remembered. "Well, if the term seems to bother you that much, I can stop using it."

Jack pouted childishly. "You know that's not really what I meant."

Ianto just stood up and took an empty coffee mug in his hand. "I know..." he said, and as he passed Jack on his way to the secret door, breathed in his ear, "...__sir."__

He didn't need to look back to know that Jack shuddered.


	3. The right thing

**A/N: **And here's another one. I hope you like it. Remember to review! Reviews make my day.

Huge thanks to **Kausingkayn** for beta reading this chapter! She's amazing.

**Disclaimer: **Torchwood belongs to BBC.

* * *

><p><strong><strong>Chapter 2: The right thing<strong>**

Later that night, when he heard the tourist office door opening, he stepped behind the counter and saw Gwen carrying two pizzas, just like in his dream. He was starting to suspect that it hadn't been a dream after all; too many details were perfectly the same.

"Oh, hiya, sorry I'm late. Someone ordered pizza?" she asked, a bit unsure.

Ianto smiled at her, trying his best not to laugh. "Who's it for?"

Gwen hesitated for a second. "I think it's a... Mr. Harkness."

The door of the tourist office slammed shut. Ianto smiled at her startled expression and pressed the button to open the secret door. He could see Gwen's eyes widening, and it really was hard not to laugh at her face.

"Don't keep them waiting," he said, bemused smile lingering on his lips. Gwen stepped into the passageway and turned to look at him. He mouthed "Go," and nodded at her. She continued walking.

As soon as she had disappeared, Ianto opened the hub CCTV – just like in his dream – and watched as Gwen walked in, carrying pizza. She just stood there, and Jack walked past her to his desk, pretending not to notice her. Then, as she started walking towards Jack's office desk, Toshiko cracked up and Owen snorted.

It was too perfect. He just sat there, looking at the video and listening as they laughed, wondering if this was what it felt to be crazy.

"I can't do this, I'm sorry. I'm rubbish, I give up!"

"He set me off!"

"Well, that lasted no' point two seconds."

"Hmmm, she's actually carrying pizza!"

"Come on! She was gonna say, '__Here's your pizza__,' and I was gonna say, '__How much?__' and then she says, '__Oh, whatever, 20 quid,__' and I say, '__Oh, I don't have any money.__' I was working on a punchline. I'd have got there. But it would've been good!" Ianto snorted at Jack's explanation. It sounded even more ridiculous than he had remembered.

"Here's your pizza. I better go," Gwen said, clearly regretting her decision to come.

For once, Jack went serious. "We've gone past that stage."

"You must've been freezing out there. How long were you walking around? Three hours?" Suzie asked.

"You could see me?" Gwen wondered, amazed. Suzie just nodded.

"And before we go any further, who the hell orders pizza under the name of Torchwood?" Jack bellowed.

"Umm, yeah, that would be me," Owen said. "I'm sorry. I'm a twat," he added sarcastically. Ianto laughed at them, and felt a small twinge of sadness settle in his stomach. Oh, how he had missed this.

Later, after Jack has introduced Gwen to Janet and Ianto had joined them inside the Hub, Jack brought her back to the team and acquainted them.

"Owen Harper, Gwen Cooper."

_"___Doctor __Owen Harper, thank you," Owen corrected cheekily.

"Toshiko Sato, computer genius," Jack gestured to Tosh, ignoring Owen. "Suzie Costello; she's second-in-command."

Suzie looked up from her work and smiled at them. Ianto stared at her for a moment. He still didn't know whether he should believe his dream or not; Suzie didn't look like a serial killer. Then again, when do they ever?

Jack arrived next to Ianto.

"And this is Ianto Jones, Ianto cleans up after us and gets us everywhere on time." Ianto could feel his heart clenching painfully at his job description. Yeah, he's the tea boy.

"I try my best," he said, smiling tightly.

"And he looks good in a suit," Jack stage-whispered to Gwen.

Ianto didn't have it in his heart to answer to the comment in any other way than the way he had in his dream. "Careful, that's harassment, sir."

He really missed the flirting, the real flirting, between Jack and him in the future, instead of the flirting that was nothing more than empty words at the moment. One thing he hadn't really missed was the way they had been dancing around each other like this.

Ianto just followed Jack and Gwen with his eyes as they talked and finally jumped on the invisible lift. As he stood there, watching the two of them slowly rising upwards and Gwen clutching Jack's arm, he knew that he had to do something. If he really had seen the future, then there were a lot of things he wanted to change. Starting with Gwen's flirting.

Well not really, he thought darkly as he made his way to the lower cellars. There was someone even more important than a flirting cop or even a team member that turned into a serial killer. His girlfriend, still technically alive, beneath the Hub. Constantly in pain and probably wondering why he hadn't visited her for the whole day.

"Lisa," he whispered brokenly as he stepped inside the room where she was held. She was there, just like all those months ago, as a half-converted cyberman and in agonizing pain. She opened her eyes and looked at straight at Ianto.

"Where have you been Ianto?" she breathed, clearly in pain.

"I'm sorry..." he just said, sinking on his knees beside her, taking her hand and holding it in his own. "I'm so sorry."

"What?" she gasped after a while.

"I'm sorry I didn't come this morning. Sorry that I forgot you because I was thinking about something else. Sorry that you're here and in pain and I'm just..." Ianto said, tears falling from his eyes. He had died. And it felt like he had been sent to heaven and hell at the same time. He had the chance to be with her again, but he knew that it wouldn't last, and he didn't know what he should do. The wisest thing probably would be to tell Jack. But he didn't know if Jack would trust him. He hadn't even worked there more than a month. They hadn't even kissed yet.

"I love you Lisa," he said finally, standing up and wiping the tears away. He gave her the usual pain medication. "And I'm sorry."

As he walked away and before closing the door, he could hear Lisa calling to him, confused. "Ianto? Ianto!"

He would do the right thing. He would tell Jack.


	4. When life gives you lemons

**A/N:** Wow. You guys have really no idea how surprised I was this Tuesday morning as I logged in on my fanfiction account and saw that I had gotten over 17 reviews during the time I was sleeping. I'm really, really happy that you all seem to like this story, and I'm doing my best to keep it interesting for you. Love you all. Here's some cookies. *Hands over the cookies.*

Anyway, now that I've written this chapter, I notice that it's definitely not one of my best ones. Oh, well. Reviews are still welcome. Reviews make my day and affect up my muse in a good way.

Huge thanks to **Kausingkayn** for beta reading this chapter! She's amazing.

**Disclaimer:** Torchwood belongs to BBC.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3: When life gives you lemons...<strong>

Ianto Jones wasn't a stupid man. He knew that he couldn't just waltz into his boss's office and go: "__Hello, Jack. I love you. Oh, and did I mention that I'm hiding my half converted cyberman girlfriend in your cellar?"__

Ianto Jones also knew that he had to tell Jack about Lisa in some way, and as soon as possible. He also knew, that the Lisa Ianto had once know was dead, like she had been dead to him for years already. That wasn't really his biggest problem. The real problem was what to do with her. He knew that he couldn't just brutally kill her, as she still looked like Lisa, and Ianto Jones didn't have a habit of killing people that looked just like his dead girlfriend.

__'Jack wouldn't have that problem__,' he thought as he saw the man in question walking back towards his office after retconning Gwen. Jack had earlier contacted Ianto through the comms, and asked him to check if Gwen tried to write anything down to her computer. Just like Ianto had remembered, she did try. But as soon as she had stopped writing, Ianto did a bit of computer hacking (thought it really shouldn't be called hacking as he used official Torchwood software to do it) and removed the file, tilting Gwen's computer in the progress.

He yawned. The day had been mentally tiring, and he still hadn't really figured out whether he had actually travelled back in time, or if he had just had a huge prophetic dream about the future. As he thought about it, he couldn't really choose which one he preferred. Prophetic dreams probably weren't very usual for people that could still walk outside without the white jackets chasing after them. But he couldn't really abandon the option either. He would probably never know which one was the right option, especially if the rift had anything to do with this.

"Well, did she try to saving anything?" Jack's voice, coming straight behind him, startled Ianto out of his thoughts. He looked up to notice that his boss had been sneaking and was now standing right behind him. Jack was so close that Ianto could smell his 51st century pheromones.

"Yes, sir. You were right, as usual," Ianto said, swallowing and turning back to his computer. God. Maybe he should look like he's busy? He wasn't ready to start another conversation with this Jack yet.

"She tried to write things down about Torchwood and the team, so I deleted it. Might have also tilted her computer," he said thoughtfully, and he could feel Jack's eyes boring to the back of his head.

"Ianto, about this morning..." Jack started, hesitating, "Why did you ask about today's date?"

Ianto could feel his shoulders tensing involuntarily, and knew that it wouldn't escape Jack's notice either.

"I..." he swallowed again, hoping that Jack would buy his hasty lie, "I had a bit of a rough evening last night."

Jack laughed abruptly and loudly, relief clear in his voice, making Ianto flinch in surprise. "Good to know," he said, patting Ianto on his shoulder faintly. The tiniest contact made Ianto suddenly have the urge to turn around, hug him and bury his head desperately into Jack's chest. But he resisted the urge, and instead just stayed frozen in his place.

"And here I was thinking that maybe you had accidentally done some time traveling and became your own grandfather or something," Jack chuckled, smirking. Ianto turned his chair to look at him with a steady expression.

"Is that experience speaking, sir?" Ianto couldn't really help but let a little grin appear on his tired face.

"Why, you cheeky Welshman!" Jack exclaimed, trying his best to look insulted. "Just so you know, this kind of perfection couldn't be explained by simple time travel."

"Just call me Tiger Pants," Ianto remarked nonchalantly, and only after a brief silence noticed his mistake. It had been so easy to slip into his old pattern of the flirty bantering with Jack, that he had forgotten that this wasn't his Jack. He blushed, too embarrassed to even try to explain his choice of wording.

"Wow, __Tiger Pants__, where did that come from?" Jack said raising his eyebrows, clearly enjoying the name and testing it on his tongue. He was also grinning and looking at Ianto suggestively.

Ianto just mumbled something akin to: "Forget I ever said that."

"That's actually a very nice name, __Tiger Pants."__ Ianto's left eye twitched.

"I'm surprised that I didn't think of calling you that before," the captain continued, the grin clear in his voice as he walked away, still chuckling. Ianto couldn't move.

"Oh, and __Tiger Pants__!" He heard Jack call from his office a minute later. "Bring be my coffee."

Later the same evening Ianto was making his final round of coffee serving. The only ones still inside the Hub at the time – if not counting himself – were Toshiko and Jack. As usual, Ianto decided to serve Toshiko first. She was sitting before her computer, staring at it almost blankly. She was writing down something that looked pretty important and too much like equations for Ianto to take any real interest in them.

"Ah, thank you," Tosh said quietly, looking up as Ianto handed her a cup of coffee.

"No problem, you looked like you needed one," Ianto muttered and turned to walk away, uncomfortable with the old Tosh who didn't really know him yet. He knew that he should try to befriend her just like in his... vision of the future, but right now he couldn't even look at her without thinking that she had risen from the dead like Owen.

"Wait, Ianto!" He heard Tosh exclaim, and turned around, automatically raising his left eyebrow like a good butler.

"You forgot to take these back muffins back," Toshiko said, handing Ianto's breakfast bag to him and smiling gently at his confused expression.

"Oh." He had forgotten about those. Ianto took it hesitantly with his free hand. He wasn't really hungry. He tucked the muffins under his arm and walked towards Jack's office. Well, he guessed he could always give some of them to Jack. He might be hungry. After all, Jack had (surprisingly) been doing paper work the whole evening.

Or, at least that's what he had thought until he walked into Jack's office, only to find Jack asleep in his chair. Jack's head was burrowed between his arms and he looked tired. Ianto stopped at the doorway and stared at him. In that moment, Jack almost looked like __his __Jack. Almost.

"I can feel you watching me," Jack muttered sleepily after a few minutes, making Ianto smile gently at him.

"You looked like you were asleep, sir."

"I was," he said, looking up from the slouched position and smirking tiredly. "The delicious scent of coffee woke me up." Ianto couldn't do anything but to answer with a smile. He walked before Jack, who slowly resumed his upright position amd stretched his arms. Ianto offered him a cup of coffee, which he took.

"Hmmm," Jack hummed, sipping it slowly and clearly enjoying it. "This is good."

Ianto fought back a smile, and opened up the bag of muffins, offering a chocolate one to Jack. "Fancy a muffin, sir?"

Jack took another sip of his coffee and raised his eyebrows at him. "And you just happened to have a bundle of muffins with you?" he asked, amusement clear in his voice. But he took one anyway.

Ianto resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Bought them for breakfast this morning but forgot to eat them, sir. I only remembered them just a moment ago as Tosh reminded me," he explained.

Jack nodded in understanding, taking a experimental bite out of it. "This is good," he said, mouth full and voice full of surprise, as if he was expecting to bite into simply an adequate muffin.

"Well, sir, they make very good muffins," Ianto answered as if it was obvious. He took a bite of one himself. Mmh, lemon.

"As you make very good coffee, __Tiger Pants__," Jack smirked. Ianto scowled at him.

"You're never going to let me live that down, sir, are you?"

"Never."

Ianto hid a longing smile as he gazed at his boss, who was wolfing down the muffin eagerly. It seemed that Jack was always Jack, no matter which timeline he belonged to.


	5. Home, sweet home

**A/N:** Thank you for your awesome reviews! Those really inspired me to write this chapter. :3

Oh, and by the way, the number of current story alert almost gave me a heart attack. I've never had more than 35 subscribers on a same story, and now the number for this story is close to one hundred. I can hardly believe my eyes anymore! I love you all.

Also, huge thanks for my amazing beta reader, **Kausingkayn**. This story would be a mess without her.

**Disclaimer:** Torchwood belongs to BBC.

* * *

><p><strong><strong>Chapter 4: Home, sweet home<strong>**

It was raining as Ianto made his way towards the car he had parked on a street near Cardiff Bay. He had been thinking about his situation all day, and came to the conclusion that he would have to tell Jack about Lisa. But he wouldn't do it just yet.

He couldn't tell Jack about his half-cyberman girlfriend before the Captain trusted him and knew that Ianto was aware of the possible consequences of his actions; mostly about bringing a cyberman to the Hub. Last time, Lisa had killed two people. Ianto couldn't let that happen again, and not just because of those people. Because he wanted to remember Lisa as she had been; alive and kind. Not as a monster.

There was also the fact that Ianto didn't feel good telling Jack about Lisa before he had gotten over the whole Suzie incident. That might take a while.

Sighing, he opened the driver's door and just sat there, staring at the windshield for a long moment, watching the rain fall down. It looked too much like tears. Ianto blinked to get rid of the pressure building behind his eyelids. Crying wouldn't solve anything, and crying while driving a car definitely wasn't a good idea. The car purred gently as he started the engine and drove towards his flat.

He couldn't call this place home, he noted to himself as he stepped through the door ten minutes later. It wasn't his home; not really. No matter how ridiculous it sounded, he felt more at ease in the Hub than he felt at his own flat.

"Great," Ianto whispered out loud, looking around his flat. It looked abandoned and very empty. More than anything, it looked cold.

"Maybe I should start talking to myself," he whispered again, keeping his voice down – scared to break the silene that encased the apartment like a glass cage – and took off his shoes. He hung his coat on the back of his kitchen chair, as he didn't have any kind of rack for hanging clothes in his hallway. He almost wished someone would answer him when he spoke. "At least then I could talk to someone."

Ianto started making coffee, his hands moving automatically. Coffee time used to be peaceful thinking time, but today he couldn't pull it off. He couldn't stop thinking about the future. If he really knew what was going to happen, then he was probably already changing the time lines. The first time he had gone through today, he hadn't talked to Jack so openly, and he hadn't forgotten Owen's coffee. God knows what only the missing coffee could cause. Owen was a doctor, after all. What if he had been tired and missed something important due to the lack of the coffee?

Ianto snorted at the thought. Really, it sounded almost reasonable enough, until he remembered that this was Owen he was thinking about. He doubted that Owen could be distracted enough to miss something important just because Ianto had forgotten his coffee.

Then again, if changing the future was that easy, maybe he had already affected the future of the human race just by stepping on a spider accidentally. Not that he had stepped on anything today; Ianto barely paid attention to where he stepped, but who knew how many little bugs and creepy crawlies he had ended in the past hour?

His thoughts were getting really ridiculous, he decided, and sat down on his sofa. What should he do about tomorrow? Nothing really important happened tomorrow. He was sure that it took Gwen more than one day to fight the effects of Retcon and remember everything.

He knew the future and he had a half-converted cyberman in the hub's cellars. He could try to save Tosh and Owen. He should try to save himself. And more importantly, he really, really needed to tell Jack everything he knew.

But Ianto had already decided take it slowly and tell Jack only bits of knowledge from here and there. Jack was an ex-time agent so he would probably understand, and Ianto knew that knowledge of the future wasn't something that should be shared with anyone involved in the events. In fact, it would be almost better if Ianto himself didn't know anything about future.

He had considered Retconning himself, but the thought had been thrown away as fast as it had arrived. He couldn't do that to Lisa, and more importantly, he couldn't do that to Owen and Toshiko. He wanted to save them, and he had already promised that he would try.

Ianto slumped on the sofa, staring at the ceiling. It was white. For a moment he could imagine that he really had died, and he right now he was sitting on an edge of a cloud, thinking about what to tell to his new, shiny white journal about his first, peaceful day in heaven.

His eyes widened. The journal.

He sat up abruptly and headed inside his bedroom. There, in his bedroom drawer, was his old leather bound journal. Ianto reached for it and fell down on the bed, opening it hastily.

The latest entry was written on 12th of July, 2007. He could feel disappointment making its way to his heart. For some reason he had thought that maybe his journal was from the future too, and maybe, just maybe, he had something that could help him prove Jack that he wasn't going crazy and that it hadn't all just been a prophetic dream.

He stared down at the filled pages of his journal, and realized that the latest entry had been smudged by tears. He had been writing about Lisa again.

Ianto Jones felt sick.

He didn't want to read his journal, but he had a feeling that he might need to, just to have a reminder of the things that happened in the last month. He also had a habit of writing work related things to his journal, and it really wouldn't be a good thing if he forgot to do something important just because he thought that he had already done it.

So he read it. It took him two hours, but he read all the journal entries he had written during his first month of employment of Torchwood Three. After he had finished, he felt even worse.

He wanted to deny writing all those things. Of course he did. But he knew that he had written them, and he could even remember writing them. It had been so easy to write about he would save Lisa, no matter what the cost. He would betray the team, his boss, save Lisa and then run away with her without getting caught. He had already known at that point that Torchwood didn't just let people retire. It was a bullet to the head or Retcon.

He had felt so angry at Jack for so long. He had only taken the job to help his girlfriend, but to Jack, Lisa had been killed in the battle of Canary Wharf, and Ianto Jones was free to be flirted with. So Jack had shamelessly flirted with him from the start of day one, and Ianto had felt so angry at him. Why couldn't his boss just leave him alone?

In the end, he had grown tired of anger and had just settled for ignoring Jack and his flirting, occasionally teasing him back, being the perfect butler and cleaning up after the team, no questions asked.

He had felt tired of anger, but that didn't mean that the bitterness wasn't there. The team looked at him and saw what they wanted to; a tea boy who cleaned after them, nothing more. Sometimes Ianto had really felt like he was a butler.

They all had their fair share of Torchwood ruining their life. To Owen, it had been Katie, and then later Diane. To Toshiko, it had been the lack of her personal life, her lover dying, and Thomas going back to the past. To Gwen… Well, Ianto felt that Gwen didn't really need the help of Torchwood to ruin her life, she had done it all by herself. She had slept with Owen and flirted with Jack, so Torchwood couldn't really be blamed for her fragile relationship with Rhys.

In the end, Owen, Toshiko, Suzie and himself had suffered a death by Torchwood. It really told you something about the occupation.

He still felt bad for reading the journal entries that he written so long ago. Back then when he hadn't really known anything about the rest of the team, he had written some pretty bad things about them, especially about Jack. He felt like he was invading someone else's privacy; he wasn't the same man anymore.

But despite the bad things he read, he also found something interesting. He had written about how he didn't trust Suzie. He remembered wondering about it after Suzie had died, but he hadn't really noticed writing it down.

Ianto had always had that feeling about Suzie. How she was almost too excited about some things, especially the resurrection gauntlet.

Ianto felt a sting of guilt. Maybe he should tell Jack about Suzie? He wasn't sure if he should. If Suzie didn't kill all those people, it might change the future dramatically. But he didn't really feel good about keeping the knowledge to himself either. And if he wanted Jack to believe him...

As he glanced back at the journal, Ianto Jones got an idea. The coffee stood forgotten in the kitchen until the next morning.


	6. Doctor Harper

**A/N: **I want to thank you all for your reviews, it makes me very happy to know that people are reading this. :'D

It was my last week of school when I started writing this chapter, and I've had some time to think about this fic and make plans about the direction where it's going, which is always a good thing. I've had many ideas and lot of inspiration to write, but I've been stuck on this chapter for a while now, maybe because it's my first serious attempt at writing Owen. I find him a bit hard character to write, mostly because he's so brilliant in the TV show.

I hope you all like this chapter. Remember to review, I want to know what you think!

Thanks to **Kausingkayn** for beta reading.

**Disclaimer: **Torchwood belongs to BBC.

* * *

><p><strong><strong>Chapter 5: <strong>****Dr. Harper**

"You were right, sir," Ianto said as he handed the Captain his usual morning coffee. Jack didn't look up from his work.

"I usually am," he said, a hint of smugness coloring his voice. "What was it time?"

Ianto nearly bit his lip, but stopped himself and settled for shifting his weight from one foot to another. Silently berating himself for showing such obvious signs of nervousness, Ianto breathed deeply and brought up the subject he had been both looking forward and dreading at the same time.

"About time travel."

That made Jack look up with wide eyes. "You became your own grandfather?" he asked, voice incredulous.

Ianto scowled at his boss's attempt to make a joke. Jack took it as a sign to be serious, so he wiped the smirk off his face. "What do you mean, Ianto?"

Ianto licked his lips. "How old do you think I am?" he asked. Keeping his gaze on Jack, Ianto took a timid step backwards, giving him more space to look at him properly.

Jack blew some air to his coffee to cool it down. Hands still softly lingering on the cup's handle, he took a good look at Ianto, who was clad in white dress shirt with sleeves rolled up, black vest and dark trousers. His suit coat was missing, which made Jack grin inwardly. A missing piece of clothing was always a good thing in his books. He let out a thoughtful noise and let his eyes travel from Ianto's head to toes again.

Ianto rolled his eyes. He could almost hear the thoughts running through Jack's head.

"I was born in 1982, sir," he said, helpful as ever.

"Then you're 24, right?" Jack asked, his eyes still shamelessly lingering on Ianto's lean form.

"Well, yes. And no."

That sparked Jack's interest. "What does that mean?" he asked warily, finally looking up at Ianto's eyes.

Ianto suppressed a sight and took a chair. "May I?"

"Sure."

Sinking down on an uncomfortable wooden chair before his boss's desk, Ianto closed his eyes as an attempt to focus his tired gaze. As he opened them again, Jack was staring at him.

"This might sound completely ridiculous, sir," Ianto started, "but hear me out."

Jack nodded slowly. Ianto stared at him for a while, calculating the possible results of the conversation and trying to find the right words.

"I woke up in the past," Ianto said.

Jack's eyes widened and he leaned forwards in his chair. "Ianto, this is bad," he said, "This is very bad." He paused for a moment, searching Ianto's eyes for something Ianto couldn't put his finger on. "Did you change anything? Anything at all?"

Ianto blinked slowly. Then he understood what Jack was worried about, and managed a wry smile. "You misunderstood me, sir," he said, feeling very tired. Jack still didn't seem to understand. He was so obvious sometimes, even thought he had first hand experience concerning time travel.

Jack leaded back in his chair, blinking in confusion. "What?"

Ianto fixed him with a blank stare. "I said I woke up in the past, sir," he said. "I didn't say I had arrived back to my own time."

Jack's mouth opened and closed, no sound coming out.

"Jack," Ianto leaned forward, his voice lowering, "__This __is the past."

Seconds ticked by.

"Impossible," said Jack at last, his tone leaving no room for arguments.

Ianto wanted to hit his head into a wall, so frustrated he was. He didn't know what kind of reaction he had been expecting, but denial surely wasn't it. Maybe suspicion, anger, or even fear. But denial? No, denial wasn't Jack's style.

"It happened to me," he remarked, face blank.

Jack stared at him oddly. "You're not joking, are you?"

"I wish I were."

"What happened?"

Ianto couldn't meet Jack's eyes, so he stared at his desk instead, tracing the wooden pattern with his tired gaze. He wasn't exactly sure why, but he didn't feel like telling Jack about his death. Maybe because it would make it more final. "I just... Woke up here. In my flat."

Jack eyed him closely. "You don't look older.""

Ianto choked down a hysterical laugh that was making its way through his mouth. "That's because my body probably isn't any older," he said. "But this," he gestured to his head, "still remembers everything that happened to me. Or will happen. However you want to put it."

Jack was still dubious. "You absolutely sure you didn't touch any alien tech that might have caused this?" he asked.

"I would remember doing something like that, sir," Ianto said. It wasn't like he had had access to the archives in his final days anyway. The Hub had been destroyed in the explosion. Just thinking of it made Ianto's stomach churn. He blinked rapidly to concentrate on the present.

"But that's still impossible," Jack said and was silent for a moment. "Owen should take a look at you."

Ianto tried to glare, but was too tired to do so. "He won't find anything revealing," he said. "This is definitely my younger body."

Jack hummed in agreement, eyebrows raised and a typical Harkness grin making its way to his lips. Ianto pretended not to notice, which made Jack frown.

"Well, can't be too careful, can we?" Jack asked and reached for his comms device. "I'm calling Owen."

Ianto stared at him blankly. "You're going to tell Owen that there should be doubts about my mental health?" he deadpanned.

Jack's hand froze, and he turned to look at Ianto with a perfect deer in the headlights expression on his face.

Ianto sighed, rolling his eyes. "Go ahead." Since Owen wasn't really a psychiatrist, Ianto doubted he would be doing any kind of mental evaluation anyway.

Jack still looked a bit wary, but phoned Owen through the comms. "Are you busy?" he asked and a grin made its way on his lips. "Great! That can wait. You need to take a look at Ianto... Yeah, sure. We'll be there."

Jack looked up at Ianto, his grin fading as he saw the unimpressed face staring back. "Let's go."

"Sit down," Owen said to Ianto as he and Jack walked down to the autopsy bay.

Ianto sat down on the thin, white paper sheet that Owen had put there. He was sitting on an autopsy table, he noted darkly. How fitting, since he actually died.

"So what seems to be the problem with our teaboy?" Owen asked curiously, taking out a clipboard and preparing to write on it. Ianto glanced at Jack, who was serious for once.

"I want you to check him for any damage, be it physical or mental," Jack said. "There might be some alien tech involved," he added and Owen raised his eyebrows.

"Right then," Owen said, taking out his stethoscope and motioning for Ianto to lift his shirt. Jack still hadn't moved from his position on the stairs, and Owen glanced at him.

"You going to stand there through the whole thing? This is going to take a while you know," he said and glanced at Ianto who had just lifted his shirt up and was frowning. "Or is the Teaboy afraid of the scary doctor?"

Ianto rolled his eyes. "Jack, you can go."

"You sure?" Jack asked, but was already taking steps towards the upper level.

"Yes, sir," Ianto said. "I can speak for myself." He smiled then and threw Owen the same unimpressed look that the Captain had seen earlier in his office.

Jack laughed and headed back to his office. But just when he reached the upper level, he turned back. "Oh, and Owen?"

Owen, who had been listening to Ianto's chest, took the stethoscope out of his left ear and glanced up questioningly.

"Check out how old he is." With that remark, Jack disappeared.

Ianto sighed. Great, Jack left him with confused Owen. Now Ianto would have to do the explaining, and he was sure that Owen wouldn't believe him.

"What was that about?" Owen asked idly and went back to listening Ianto's heart.

"Just something he wants confirmed," Ianto said, and flinched as the cold metal hit his chest.

Owen made a thoughtful noise but let it go. "Heart seems to be fine," he said and made a note of it on his clipboard.

Ianto eyed him curiously. Was Owen really going to just let it go?

"So," Owen said and looked up from the records. "Have you gotten injured in a while? Hit your head or anything?"

Ianto shook his head. "Nothing I remember," he said and raised his eyebrow. "And it's you who should know, since you're our medic."

Owen scoffed. 2How should I know what you've been up to in your private time." He took a hold of Ianto's chin and flashed a light to his eyes, muttering, "Or in Jack's bedroom." Ianto scowled slightly at the remark.

"No sign of concussion," Owen said out loud, "No pupil dilation." He let go of Ianto and wrote down more information. Ianto rubbed his chin slightly. __Doctor __Harper had really cold hands.

Owen paused in his scribbling and looked up. Here it comes.

"No, seriously mate. What did Jack mean with checking your age?" Owen asked, frowning.

Ianto raised an eyebrow. "I'm from the future and Jack wants proof," he deadpanned.

Owen laughed. "Very funny, teaboy. Now what's the real reason?" he asked, put the files down and looked straight at him.

Ianto just stared at Owen, his face blank. "No, really. I'm from the future."

Owen let out a sigh. "Well, now I can see why Jack wanted me to look for mental problems as well," he muttered.

"I'm crazy then?" Ianto asked, and a sudden yawn escaped him. He was really tired, and this conversation with Owen wasn't really helping him.

Owen frowned and looked at him more closely. "Have you been eating?"

"Well, yes..." Ianto trailed off as he realized that the last time he ate something was yesterday when he offered his boss a muffin. He hadn't really thought about it after that. He just wasn't hungry.

Owen approached him, eyeing him critically. "What about sleeping?"

Ianto frowned and blinked to focus his tired gaze on Owen. "Huh?"

Owen sighed. "When was the last time you had a decent nights sleep? As in, six or more hours – a __real __night's sleep, not a __Torchwood __night's sleep."

Ianto thought about it. Well, he had slept normally when he was in the future, but he really didn't remember about this younger body of his... He hadn't been sleeping very well after the Battle of Canary Wharf, after all.

"Clearly, as it takes you that long to remember, it's been a while," Owen said sarcastically.

"Maybe it's been a while," Ianto repeated and yawned again. "What does it matter?"

"Personally, I couldn't care less," Owen said nonchalantly, writing something down again and looking up at Ianto, "But as a doctor who has just been ordered to do a full medical examination on you, it's pretty damn important."

Ianto found Owen oddly intimidating when he was Dr. Harper, so he chose his words carefully.

"I might have occasionally forgotten to eat..." he said and almost flinched at the hard look Owen was giving him. "... And sleep," he finished meekly, averting his eyes from Owen.

Owen shook his head. "No wonder you look so tired," he muttered. Ianto eyed him but couldn't really say anything to defend himself.

"Okay, I'm going to do a full body scan on you now," Owen said and took out an odd-looking scanner that was clearly alien technology. "Just keep still, this will only take a few seconds."

Ianto scowled. "Couldn't you just have done this in the beginning? Did you really need to do those tests you did?"

Owen grinned at him. "Just wanted to get rid of Jack," he said, and started the scanning device, "Besides, asking questions is so much easier when the patient can't escape after a minute."

"So you did all those things just to get me talking?"

"Yep," Owen answered. "Don't tell me I didn't learn something worthwhile," he continued and threw a glare at Ianto, who found he had the sudden urge to swallow.

"We're done," Owen said after a brief pause and put the scanner away.

Ianto didn't say anything. What there was to say? Owen found out that Ianto wasn't sleeping or eating well. It wasn't really a surprise for him, as his habits had been like that for a long time now.

Owen skimmed through the results with a frown. "Time to call Jack back."


	7. The results

**A/N: **I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. :'D

I promised to update after coming back from Oxford, but I honestly haven't had any inspiration since the trip. It didn't go exactly as planned, and I also got the cold on the last week and I was sick for weeks after the trip! Anyway, there was nothing wrong with England or Oxford, just that my host family wasn't as pleasant as I had hoped, and the traveling agency I used didn't really have qualified group leaders. They were clueless most of the time, which in response made me want to hit them their heads with the useless school books we got for our lessons. I practically learnt nothing; and the only thing that improved was my self-confidence, and I might have also lowered the barrier which keeps me from speaking English in public. Because I noticed that my English speaking skills are actually lot better than average Finnish person's. So I'm kind of happy, although the whole trip seemed to rob me my inspiration for writing this fan fiction! Argh. xD

Somehow I got really inspired for writing a Harry Potter fic though, which I have now started publishing also. Check it out if you're interested!

**Disclaimer:** _Torchwood_ belongs to _BBC._

* * *

><p><strong><strong>Chapter 6: <strong>****The results**

Owen called Jack through the comms and there was an awkward silence while they waited for him to arrive. Ianto couldn't help but wonder what kind of results the scanning had shown Owen for him to look so worried. Maybe Ianto really was in worse shape than he had realized.

Jack arrived, and Owen started pushing buttons on his computer, seeming to be preparing for a slide show. Ianto couldn't really understand what he was doing, so he just sat on the table all confused, looking at the two of them.

Jack's expression was serious. "Tell me what's wrong with Ianto," he said.

Owen looked a bit hesitant at first, but took the scanning results and started reading them. "Well, apparently theres quite many things wrong with him," Owen said, and for once his voice had no humor in it. "He's fatigued. It's seems that he's been sleeping and eating way too little for the last month." The medic threw a glare at Ianto, who quickly looked away. "Also, in addition to that, the fatigue must have been caused by too much work and he has put his body to its limit. So now he's totally exhausted."

Jack nodded and threw a concerned glance at Ianto, who avoided his gaze.

"What about... You know?" Jack asked. Meaning, should he book an appointment for the shrink.

Owen glanced at Ianto, then back at Jack. "Well that's the freaky part," he said and pushed a button so that a grey picture of brain appeared on the wall. "You see that red part there?" he asked Jack, who nodded. "It's the part of the brain that deals with memories. According to the scanner, for a 24-year-old man this part of the brain has evolved little bit too quickly. It's almost as if, – if you count age in memories – , Ianto's older than he's supposed to be."

Ianto heard Jack take a deep breath. "Couldn't this be caused by a brain tumor or something?" Jack asked.

"I've never heard of one doing this, so I doubt it," Owen said, shaking his head.

Jack sighed and turned to Ianto. "I suppose you have an explanation for this?"

Ianto sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly. Apparently he would have to explain this again for both of them. But will they believe him even now? "I'm from the future, as I've already said," Ianto started. Owen made a strangled sound but otherwise kept his comments to himself. "Something happened, and I woke up here in my younger body," Ianto continued and crossed his arms. "To me, every day for the next two and half years from now has already happened."

Jack looked at him, expression strict. "Do you have any information that could prove that?"

Ianto nodded and took an envelope out of his coat pocket. "I was going to give this to you anyway," he said and handed the envelope to Jack, who took it. "As you can see, you can only open it after 2 days have passed from now," Ianto said, really hoping that Jack would do as he was told. "Otherwise the information will be pointless."

Owen eyed the two of them critically, "Yeah yeah, now that we have your proof, it's time to discuss your holiday." Ianto's eyes widened. "Apparently you're not wise enough to take one yourself, so we're going to have to put you on a leave. Two days should do for now," Owen said, making a note on the clipboard he had picked up moment ago.

Ianto turned to look at Jack for support, but found that Jack was nodding and obviously siding with Owen in this one. Ianto sighed and nodded. He just hoped that he would have a chance to visit Lisa before he had to leave. "Very well. I guess I can take two days off," he said and slid of the table and back on his feet. "But I must finish something before I leave today."

Jack rolled his eyes that and Owen frowned. "Just make sure that you leave before you faint somewhere," Owen said. "And don't even try to stay for the night."

"Yes, sir," Ianto said, saluted for the effect and managed not to roll his eyes. He finally buttoned the rest of his shirt and left the medic bay silently.

"Do you think he's speaking the truth Jack?" Owen asked after a while, his eyes still on the results of the scan.

Jack looked down at the envelope Ianto had given him. There was a message written on the envelope in Ianto's neat handwriting: '__This is the proof you wanted. Two days.__' There was a sence of forebording in the simple text that made Jack question the seriousness of the content inside.

"I don't know Owen," Jack said. "I honestly don't know."


	8. Seduction

**A/N:** First, forgive me the chapter title. I'm losing my touch. x)

Second, I want to thank all of you for your wonderful reviews! They have given me inspiration, and now I've actually had some visions of what I want to do with this story next. And I've had some visions of the later chapters too... Let's just say, there's a reason why I like John Hart so much.

Currently my beta reader seems to be unavailable, so if you spot some mistakes in my writing, please point them out. And remember to review anyway! I always want to know what you think of this chapter.

**Disclaimer:** _Torchwood_ belongs to _BBC._

* * *

><p><strong><strong>Chapter 7: Seduction<strong>**

Ianto staggered down the stairs leading to the basement level. It occurred to him that maybe he actually was a bit more tired than he thought. After all, last time it had only been the burden of hiding Lisa and saving her. Now, it was what to do with her, what to do about Jack, and deciding whether or not he should save his team mates and how in the world Ianto could do it without killing anyone else.

Ianto took a deep breath before opening the doors, wanting to be prepared for seeing the terrible sight again. The fact that Lisa had been dead to him for almost three years didn't mean that it didn't still affect him. Ianto hated to see her suffer like this.

"Lisa," he whispered quietly as he stood beside the conversion unit. He touched her face gently to wake her up. Lisa opened her eyes slowly.

"Ianto?" she croaked out, her eyes focusing on his face.

Ianto smiled at her. "It's me," he said and bent down to pick up some medicines. He glanced back at Lisa. "Listen, they're giving me two days off," Ianto said and started preparing the pain killers. Lisa's gaze followed him.

"What did you say to them?"

"There was nothing I could've said," Ianto said wryly. "Our medic and Harkness teamed up against me."

Lisa closed her eyes, clearly in pain. The last dose was rapidly wearing off. "What's happening now?" she asked.

Ianto took a deep breath. He could do this. He could, and he would do this without telling her the truth about what was to come. "I'm just going to give you a bigger dose and then I'll come back as soon as possible," he said softly. "You'll be okay, won't you?"

"Of course," she whispered and opened her eyes. "I love you."

Ianto bit his lip and blinked to stop the tears from falling. "I love you more."

Ten minutes later Ianto wiped the tears from his eyes and walked slowly up the stairs leading to the main level. He felt incredibly bad for not telling Lisa about his future knowledge, but he just couldn't do it alone. He needed someone's help, since he already knew that Lisa was a lost cause. But currently, there was no one that could help Ianto. He would just have to wait.

He had just reached the main level when voice from his left startled him.

"Ianto!"

Ianto jumped when he heard Jack's voice. Hoping that his eyes weren't too red, he changed his expression from surprised to blank, turned around and offered a small smile. "Sir?"

Jack eyed him closely, as if trying to decide what to do with him. "Are you ready to leave now? You've been around for half an hour already," he said, scowling.

Ianto tried to think of an excuse but came up with nothing intelligent. "Actually..." he started and glanced at his watch. "I was just thinking that it's time for lunch."

Jack raised his eyebrows. "And?"

"And that maybe I should order us lunch before I leave," Ianto said, rising his eyebrows back in response. "I happen to prefer eating here with the team to eating alone at my flat."

Jack's expression changed and he gestured for both of them to walk towards the conference room where they normally ate. "Sure," he said as they started walking and glanced at Ianto. "Of course you can eat here if you want..." Jack continued, "I just assumed you would feel uncomfortable under Owen's watchful eyes."

Ianto tensed momentarily but then let out a sigh. "How could I have missed that side of him," he said dryly. "He's always so warm."

Jack's laughter echoyed around the hub as they walked.

After a heated debate on the differences of healthy food and their usual food, the team ordered their lunch (meaning pizza) and all got seated around the conference table.

"I love this," Suzie said, taking a large bite of her meat lover's pizza. Ianto glanced at her blankly and took a nib of his own anjovis pizza. Suzie looked like she could eat a horse. Or maybe another human being, he mused darkly.

Across the table from Ianto, Owen scowled. "Ianto, eat your lunch."

Ianto shook his head to get rid of his wandering thoughts and glanced at Owen. "Yes, mum," he said obediently and took a larger bite. It tasted good but he still had some trouble getting it down.

Owen crossed his arms at the term and Jack laughed beside him. Toshiko giggled behind her hand. She turned to look at Ianto and her laughter faded.

"You look tired Ianto," she said abruptly, noticing the dark circles under his eyes. The room went silent. Owen and Jack stared at Ianto, almost as if asking for him to say something in his defence. Maybe they wanted to see if he was going to tell about his supposed knowledge of the future.

Ianto sighed and took another bite of his lunch to buy some time. He wanted to tell Toshiko the truth, but right now Suzie was in the room so he couldn't. "Yes, well, I think I might be getting the cold so I feel tired," he said, and glanced at Owen from the corner of his eye. "Owen gave me two days off starting now, so I can get better."

Toshiko nodded and looked like she understood why Ianto hadn't left the hub yet. After all, Ianto wasn't the only one who had no life outside Torchwood. "I hope you get better soon," she said.

Ianto thought about all the things he still had to do and prepare for the future, and was unable to do at home. "Yeah," he smiled at her. "Me too."

Ianto stayed up behind to clean things up as the others continued with their work. Just as he was finished collecting the trash and started taking it towards the kitchen, Jack came out from his office to speak with him. He glanced around to ensure that the others weren't listening.

"Ianto, I wanted to ask you about that envelope you gave me," Jack said hesitantly, walking beside him.

Ianto closed the bin and looked at him quickly. "You didn't open it, did you?" Jack shook his head. "Good," Ianto said, turned around and started washing his hands.

Jack wanted to get his attention again and turned him around, taking his wet hands into his owns. Ianto looked at him oddly, but Jack just took a towel from the counter and dried their hands gently. "Ianto, I want to trust my employees, but you have to understand that Torchwood isn't just a normal work place."

Ianto tried to concentrate on what Jack was saying, but was somewhat distracted by their hands. The Jack he had known in his future had never done a gesture like this. He glanced up at Jack's eyes. They were so blue.

"Ianto," Jack whispered.

Jack, Ianto answered in his mind, opening his mouth but not getting it to form any words. Jack's face inched closer.

"What's in that envelope?"

Realizing what Jack was trying to do, Ianto wrenched his hands out of his grasp and retreated backwards. "I'm not going to tell you, sir," he said, his expression turning blank again.

Jack scowled and took a step forward. "Is it something dangerous?"

Ianto managed not to show any reaction, although inwardly he was cursing Jack's stubborness. "I'm not telling you, sir," he said.

"Ianto..." Jack warned.

Ianto looked at the wall behind Jack. "It's something that is going to happen during the next two days. If you open it now, everything could change just by your reaction, and if everything changes, the future will change," Ianto said quickly and took a breath. Then he looked straight at Jack's eyes. "Jack, please understand. There's someone really important to me in the future I know," Ianto said and Jack's eyes widened in understanding. "Someone I couldn't bear to loose."

Jack hesitated for a moment, but stepped back. "I believe you," he said. "But if your envelope really can prove that you know the future..." Jack paused. "Then we'll have to have a very long talk. Future knowledge isn't something to be handled lightly."

Ianto nodded, his shoulders relaxing in relief. He smiled thinly. "I wouldn't have expected anything less, sir."

After all, first and foremost... Jack was still his boss.


	9. Tight jeans and special someones

**A/N: **Yaiks! Another chapter is completed.

First I want to thank all of you for your wonderful reviews. They ones that really inspire me to write sometimes are the ones I that say people are waiting for me to update.

I remember the desperate feeling I feel every time I read a fic here on FFN and it's not completed. Then I go and write a review, begging for them to update soon. It's a horrible feeling, because you just want to _read _and read and read more, but there's nothing more left to read. This is the reason I feel like I own to you guys to write more, even if my muses are are in the coma or something. :''D

Have you readers been watching Miracle Day? I finally got over my denial about... well, you know, and watched all of the episodes. I think I liked it. It was okay. Jack and Rhys were practically the only reasons I could stand watching it. They're so funny. Anyway, I think I might write about Miracle Day in this fic some day in the future, but it is also entirely possible that I just write and ignore the whole series four. What do you guys think?

Oh, and another thing. If any of you like Captain John Hart, tell me. I've got some nice plans for him in the future.

I still don't have a beta at the moment, since my last one seems have abandoned me. I'm still trying to get in contact with her, since I'm less than happy to let her go. She was a very inspiring beta. So if you see any mistakes in my writing, please tell me.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter, and remember to review!

**Disclaimer: **_Torchwood_ belongs to _BBC._

**Warnings? **This is about Torchwood. There will always be slash. What were you thinking?

* * *

><p><strong><strong>Chapter 8: Tight jeans and special someones<strong>**

Jack slumped down on his office chair and let out a weary sigh. Cleaning up after Suzie had been emotionally the hardest thing he had done in a very long time. Jack had barely believed himself when he had realized it for the first time: his most trusted employee had been murdering people just to experiment on the glove. And he hadn't noticed anything. First Ianto had almost worked himself to death, and now this.

He felt disgusted with himself, like he had let his team down. He hadn't been paying enough attention to their lives outside or even inside Torchwood, and knew that he needed to look after them more carefully from now on. Although Jack was pretty sure that most of the team already knew this, he would have to make sure that they understood how this changed a lot of the old rules. This work wasn't just fun and fooling around without consequences. He would have to make sure that even Gwen Cooper understood that.

Immediately after Suzie's death, Jack had wanted to confirm that no other artifacts had been taken from the Hub archives. To his disappointment, two other items were missing. Owen and Toshiko had been regularly using them outside work hours.

As Jack had realized that Ianto hadn't taken anything with him, he had felt proud. But then he had remembered that this Ianto claimed to be from the future, and might posses enough knowledge of the future events to possibly change something that was not meant to be changed. So his feeling about Ianto were still a bit mixed up.

Jack took out the envelope he had been carrying around for almost two days. He could very well open it now, since Ianto hadn't exactly given him specific orders about the time, and it was already morning. After all, Ianto wasn't here to see this so he wouldn't know when it was opened.

Jack pried the envelope open, fingers trembling with anticipation, and looked inside. There was just a simple, white piece of paper there with some text on it. He recognized Ianto's neat handwriting as soon as he saw it.

__'Jack,__

__I really hope that you waited for long enough before opening this. Because if you did not, and you read this now, you might be responsible for changing the future and maybe disrupting the space- time-continuum.'__

Jack smiled. Ianto knew him so well. Even before he had tried to get the information from Ianto by flirting, Ianto had known that Jack probably wasn't able to wait the given time before opening the envelope.

__'But that doesn't matter anymore, since you are already reading this. I am sorry that I have to do this, but I cannot risk to let the future change. That's why you have to try and understand me Jack.__

__I do not keep these things to myself because I want to. I do it because I have to.__

__I really am sorry. I knew that Suzie was very dear to you (and Owen), but I simply couldn't do anything to stop her. Yes, Jack. I knew that it was her, and I knew that she was going to kill herself. I also knew that Gwen Cooper was going to remember, and that you have probably already hired her.__

__I really wish I could win back the trust you had me in the future, and I doubt this was any help in the matter.__

__Yours faithfully,__

__Ianto Jones.'__

Jack's smile faded quickly. He kept reading the last part of the letter over and over again. At first, he couldn't comprehend it. Next, the anger came. Why the hell did Ianto keep all of this information a secret, letting Suzie get killed in the process? They could have saved her!

Then his anger faded as quickly as it had appeared, as Jack remembered what Ianto had said last time they had spoken.

_"_There's someone really important for me in the future I saw. Someone I couldn't bear to lose."__

This someone had to be really special, if Ianto was ready to let his colleagues die just to make sure that everything happened again and in the right order. Jack could almost relate to him. After all, there wasn't much he wouldn't do to find the Doctor again.

Wait a second... If Ianto knew everything that happened in next tree years from now, he surely he would know if Jack will find the Doctor again.

Jack grinned. It seems like they have much to talk about.

* * *

><p>Ianto was watching one of his many James Bond DVDs when he got a text message. Ianto wasn't at all that surprised to find that it was from Jack. He opened the message and raised his eyebrows.<p>

'****Meet me on the roof in 30 minutes. xx Jack****'

Ianto glanced at the clock. It was half past eight in the morning. Jack had been exactly as patient as expected, and opened the letter almost immediately after hiring Gwen. Ianto wondered how long Jack had been waiting before making sure that he wouldn't wake up Ianto with his text.

Good thing that he was prepared for something like this from Jack. He grabbed his black jacket and went exited through the door. Normally the trip would have taken more than 30 minutes, but he was already completely dressed and ready to leave. Although, he had decided not to wear his suit since he was still technically on forced leave from work. Instead he was wearing a more relaxed outfit: a white shirt with tight jeans. It was an outfit he hadn't worn in a very long time, and he had been surprised to find it in his closet. He couldn't even remember the last time he had used those jeans.

Some of the morning traffic slowed him down, but Ianto arrived at the Millennium Centre just a few minutes to nine. He made his way towards the roof, a bit nervous to see what Jack's response to the letter was.

Jack was already there when he reached the roof, staring off to the distance with his back turned to Ianto.

"I had a feeling you would know how to get up here," Jack said without turning around. There was an amused tone to his voice.

"Indeed," Ianto answered, staying still and inspecting Jack's backside with his gaze. Jack was wearing his usual clothes, and from behind, he looked exactly like his Jack did in the future.

Jack turned around. "You have convinced me, Ianto," he said and opened his mouth to continue, but closed it and just stared at Ianto, eyes slightly widening.

"What?" Ianto asked, noticing his stare.

"I remember those clothes," Jack said, looking at him up and down, smirk on his face.

""Really?" He did?

"Yeah," Jack said, leering at him. "You were wearing the exactly same outfit back when you wanted me to hire you and brought me coffee down at the bay."

Ianto felt his face heat up at the memory. No wonder these clothes reminded him of something. He had been trying to get Jack to hire him by just looking hot in tight jeans. After all, Captain Jack Harkness did have a quite reputation, even in London. "Ah, yes, that," Ianto said, trying not to let Jack see his blush.

Jack eyed him for a moment, smiling. Then his smile faded a little, and he took Ianto's letter out of his coat pocket. Ianto felt his heart beat rapidly at the sight.

"You really are from the future then," Jack said nonchalantly.

"Yes."

"And that means you have an extent knowledge of what is going to happen?" Jack continued. "That you know who's going to die and who's going to live?"

Ianto hoped that his face didn't give anything out. He felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest, so hard it was beating. He was finally doing this. He was finally speaking about this with someone who believed him. "Yes," he said shakily.

Jack eyed his expression for a moment, clearly understanding, at least in some way, what Ianto must have been feeling right now. "I am sure you know that this is a really big responsibility," Jack said. "You said you didn't want to change things too much? What does that mean?"

Ianto swallowed. He knew that even though Jack believed him now, Ianto couldn't tell him yet anything about Owen or Toshiko, or even about Gray. Ianto wished this Jack knew everything about the future too. He avoided Jack's searching gaze and turned to face the beautiful view instead.

"It means that there are some things I'm hoping to change when the time comes," he said. "I want to change things, but in the way that doesn't disturb the time line too much, and that the knowledge I have won't start losing its value."

Jack nodded. "I think I understand what you mean."

Ianto couldn't look at Jack. He felt like if he saw him smile at him for one more time, he was going to jump on him and confess his undying love to him at the same time. But this wasn't his Jack. This was the wrong Jack. The Jack who would leave them all for the Doctor. The Jack who didn't believe in relationships, and knew nothing about Ianto.

Ianto sighed, looking at the last remaining shades of the sunrise. The sun was almost completely up, and would be in twenty minutes or so. It was ironic that Ianto was watching the sunrise with the love of his life, and the said love had probably no idea about the depth of Ianto's feelings.

"You're thinking about your special someone, aren't you?"

Ianto was startled by Jack's question, and blush rose to his cheeks. He really hoped that his thoughts weren't that visible on his face. "Yes, well. You could say that," Ianto said, risking a glance at Jack who looked thoughtful.

"She must be really dear to you," Jack said seriously.

Ianto brought a hand to his mouth to hide his amused smirk. For someone from the future, Jack really had absorbed the 21st century relationship classifications. Ianto felt like he was going to burst out laughing any minute. It was just such a ridiculous situation. Jack not knowing that he was speaking about himself, and instantly assuming that Ianto's special someone was a woman.

Ianto finally got in control of his expression, and smirked, turning to Jack. "Yeah, he is," Ianto said. Jack's expression was completely worth it.

"You mean you're..." Jack trailed off. Obviously that was a confession he had not been expecting.

"Yes," Ianto said, still smiling at Jack's dumbfounded expression.

Jack took a deep breath and again his eyes traveled up and down Ianto's lean form. "That's not an unpleasant surprise," he confessed absently.

Ianto smiled at Jack, his right eyebrow raised. "Is that so?"

Jack smirked back, easily falling back to their old habit. "Not at all unpleasant."


	10. There are no rules

**A/N: **Hello guys! It's been a while.

I seriously don't know why I didn't publish this chapter earlier. I mean, I've had it half written down for almost a month now. Guess I just forgot about it. Gasp.

But anyway! I want to thank you all wonderful people for your reviews. They really made me feel better about writing this. Sometimes I just feel that this is the stupidest idea for a fanfiction, but then I read your comments and see that you actually like reading it.

So don't forget to (be awesome and) review!

**Disclaimer: **_Torchwood_ belongs to _BBC._

**Warnings? **This is about Torchwood. There will always be slash.

* * *

><p><strong><strong>Chapter 9: Theres no rules<strong>**

They stood on the roof in silence for several minutes, both content with just subtly watching each other. Then, when Ianto was sure that his feet were going to crumble beneath him any moment from staying still for so long, Jack glanced at his wrist strap and decided that it was time to go back to work.

"Of course, you can still have the rest of the day off," he said to Ianto, turning for the last time to look at the beautiful view. "Rift permitting," he continued and eyed Ianto from the corner of his eye.

Ianto answered with an roll of his eyes to Jack's concerned suggestion. "I'm fine, really," he said.

Jack threw a doubtful glance at him, not giving up. "Still, you go home now and I'll let you know if we need you," he said.

Ianto raised his left eyebrow, silently asking Jack if he had already forgotten the subject of their discussion. Jack stared at him for a moment, before his mouth opened and formed into an adorable shape of the letter O.

"Right. The all-knowing Ianto Jones." He smirked. "Are we going to need your godly presence today?"

Ianto coughed politely to hide his chuckle. "It's Gwen Coopers first day at Torchwood, sir," he said slowly. "Did you really think you'd survive without me?"

"But I wasn't planning on inviting her back before tomorrow," Jack said, clearly confused. Then his expression cleared as he got the hint. "It's the rift, isn't it?" he groaned.

Ianto nodded slightly. "More or less." He wasn't exactly sure if the strange asteroid was in any way connected to the rift.

Jack sighed. "Well, then. I'll call you when we need you," he said, plastering a rather fake smile on his face.

Ianto frowned. The whole situation was ridiculous. Here he was, with his boss trying to force him to take a day off. He felt a bit berated, but decided not to argue with Jack this time. After all, he was still dreading the sight that would greet him when he would finally return to the Hub. The mess was probably horrible already, and it had only been one day.

"If you don't have anything else, sir...?" Ianto asked, already thinking back to the Bond movie that Jack had interrupted and was currently waiting for him.

Jack looked interested. "Did I interrupt something this morning?" he asked, eyeing him with a smirk on his face.

Ianto knew what Jack was automatically thinking and rolled his eyes. "Nothing too important, sir," he said. "I was just watching a film to pass the time."

"Ooh, what film?"

Ianto raised his eyebrows at Jack's excited tone of voice. "James Bond," he said carefully.

Jack looked a bit disappointed but then grinned. "Should have known you're into those, Jones, Ianto Jones," he laughed.

Ianto frowned. "Something wrong with James Bond, sir?"

Jack backpedaled quickly as he saw Ianto's serious expression. "Nothing, nothing..." he said, bringing hands up in defence.

Ianto smiled politely. "Good. Have a nice day sir," he said, turned around and walked away. Jack was left to stare at his retreating back with amusement.

There was just something about working night shifts that suited Ianto. He liked it very much, and not least because everybody was always running on his coffee.

Ianto eyed the contents of his wardrobe critically as he prepared to dress up for work. He really should buy some better three piece suits soon. He only had a few good ones, since this was still his old wardrobe and he hadn't had the chance to go shopping. He tried on a purple shirt and a black vest and let out a thoughtful noise. Maybe he should go shopping after he had dealt with Gwen's first day.

It was almost eight in the evening when Ianto finally arrived at the Hub. He went inside through the tourist office and as he entered the main space, he was surprised to see that the mess wasn't as bad as he had feared. Sure, there were some rubbish around the tables and a few dirty dishes left in the sink, but it seemed that the team had been going easy on him for a change. Or maybe it had been Jack (or maybe even Owen) who had ordered them to clean up after themselves.

Tosh was rapidly typing something on her computer, Owen could be heard distantly muttering in the autopsy bay and Gwen was nowhere to be seen yet. Ianto smiled a little. Without Suzie, the Hub felt a lot more like home. Before anyone could spot him, Ianto headed to the kitchen and made some coffee for the team.

"Coffee?" Ianto asked politely few minutes later, appearing right beside Toshiko's desk, holding a tray of coffee mugs on his hands. Toshiko looked up at him with a surprised expression.

"Ianto? You're here already?" she asked and took hold of the her mug.

"Yes, I had a feeling you might need my coffee this evening," Ianto said nonchalantly. Tosh raised her eyebrows at the strange comment but quickly went back to her work.

Ianto smiled a little and continued his round towards the autopsy bay. Owen was circling the autopsy table, reading out some prints he had on his hands and muttering under his breath. Ianto silently stepped down to stand on the middle of the stairs. He was actually a bit afraid of Owen's reaction to his return. Owen had shown an enterily new side to him since doing doing his medical examination. He had actually seemed to be so concerned that it actually scared Ianto a little.

"Coffee?"

Owen looked up at him, his eyes gleaming. He jumped up the stairs and snatched his mug, taking a long sip. Then he let out a relieved sigh before looking up at Ianto and frowning at him.

"You're not supposed to be back yet," Owen muttered, but took another sip of the coffee and forgot what he was saying. "God."

Ianto smirked. "I had a feeling my coffee would be needed."

Owen scowled at him. "Yeah yeah, now get going. I have some work to do," he said and walked back to where he was pacing just a moment ago. Ianto smirked and saluted, relieved that he had gotten away so easily. It was good that Owen had ran towards him just to get his coffee and not to punch him. He really didn't need any violent lectures about 'what taking the day off really means' from the medic right now.

Ianto glanced at his watch and started walking towards Jack's office. The alien gas situation wouldn't start before about half past eight, so he had about fifteen minutes before the team would leave.

"Hmmm, I though I smelled something wonderful in the air," Jack said as Ianto stepped inside.

Ianto smiled at him and handed him his mug, which Jack took with gratitude. One mug was left on the tray, meant for himself, and he took a sip of it.

He was left awkwardly standing there for a moment with the mug before Jack looked up from his coffee to notice him. "Sit down. Did you want to talk about something?" he asked.

Ianto took another sip before answering. Then he lowered the mug on the table and sat down. "I just wanted to make sure that you understood my rules, sir." Ianto had thought very hard about this and wasn't about to give up on Jack just because of his feelings for the man. "I'm not going to interfere with things unless I feel I absolutely need to."

Jack nodded, his expression blank. "And when do think you're going to feel like interfering?"

Ianto sighed and silently wished that life would someday become a bit easier for him. "When things are about to get out of hands. But that doesn't mean I can save everybody," he said, eyes begging for Jack to understand. "I can't afford to play the hero, Jack." There would be deaths, he knew that. So many dead people that he could try to save. But he couldn't risk it. Not when there was so much at cost. Not when his team mates were at cost. "I just need you to trust me when I decide to actually say something."

Jack eyed him for a long time, and for a second he looked so old that Ianto felt like he was back at home with his Jack. "I understand, Ianto," Jack said after a brief silence.

Ianto let out a breath he hadn't been aware of holding. Those little words meant more to him than Jack probably knew. "Thank you."

Jack stood up and walked around the table towards him, taking hold of his shoulders. "Ianto, you must know by now that I'm also a time traveler," he said, eyeing him seriously. Ianto nodded. Of course he knew. "Being a time traveler means a lot of things. And one of those is that you have to make some pretty heavy choices, and sometimes people's lives are at risk."

Ianto swallowed and put his hand on Jack's hand, which was resting on his right shoulder. "I kind of figured that out already," he said, voice cracking slightly.

Jack smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. "They are the hardest situations," he said. But then his smile turned into a real one and Ianto's heart chose that moment to skip a beat. "But history is happening right now Ianto. History isn't written in stone. It can be changed."

Ianto blinked at the quick change of subject. "What are you trying to say?"

Jack took his hands back from his shoulders and Ianto felt disappointed at the loss of heat. "I'm saying this, Ianto Jones," Jack started, his head cocking to the side and gaze suddenly piercing through Ianto. "Maybe there is a reason for you to have those memories of the future."

Ianto nodded slowly, agreeing with Jack's logic. There was nothing more he wanted to do than save Tosh and Owen. And maybe even himself. He wasn't actually sure about that yet. After all, he would still be working for Torchwood. It wasn't like he really thought that it would give him many more extra years to live.

Jack narrowed his eyes, pouting slightly. "Yeah, thought so."

Ianto raised his eyebrows at Jack's change of expression. "What?"

"You're a man on a mission, Ianto Jones."

The words struck Ianto and he tried hard not to look too conspicious. "What do you mean?"

Jack brought up a hand up to his chin thoughtfully. "You have that kind of look in you. I didn't really notice it before you told me about the whole time traveling thing, but it's pretty obvious now," Jack said. Ianto swallowed. "Something happens and you want to change it more than anything," Jack continued.

Ianto avoided his gaze. "Yeah, well, there's a lot of things I wish to change."

"Hmm, maybe," Jack said. "But this is something big."

Ianto tried hard not to let his gaze wonder towards Toshiko's general direction. He could see her working on her desk. "It is."

Jack let out a sigh and pouted. "Alright, I won't prey. But tell me," he leaned forwards, "Do I see him again?"

It took a moment for Ianto to understand what Jack was asking. Then he nodded. "Yeah, you will meet him again," Ianto said. "But he has changed his face."

Jack whistled at that. "Have __you __met him?" he asked.

Ianto felt like blushing under Jack's hungry gaze. Somehow a mention of the Doctor always got this Jack interested. "Not personally, no," Ianto said carefully. "But I have seen him on CCTV and talked to him through a video phone."

Jack frowned. "CCTV?" he asked.

Ianto suddenly felt very awkward. "At Canary Wharf," he said quietly.

"Right..." Jack said, and opened his mouth to continue the conversation when they both heard Tosh yelling about an alert.

"Some kind of an asteroid has just entered Cardiff's airspace!"

Jack gave him an apologetic smile and rushed out of his office to check the situation. Ianto just waved him off, already knowing that there would be no time to continue their discussion until the next day.


	11. Day One

**A/N:** Oh yes. It's an update!

First, I still haven't got a new beta reader, so if you find any strange mistakes, please tell me.

Sooo, I've done a bit more planning over the whole story line in these few days, and I just have to say that I'm thrilled to begin writing the second series someday in the future. It's going to be so much fun, with John Hart in it and all. I've also got some surprises up in my sleeve, so keep tuned, and don't forget to review!

Reviews keep me going. Those and cookies.

**Disclaimer:** Torchwood belongs to BBC.

**Warnings? **This is about Torchwood. There will always be slash.

* * *

><p><strong><strong>Chapter 10: <strong>****Day One**

As he waited in the hub, silence clinging around him, Ianto felt kind of bad for not warning Gwen not to chuck tools about. But he had made his decision and was going to stick to it. He had gone over the situation many times in his head, and he remembered how bad everything had been for Carys even before the incident. Sure, in his original time line she had killed a lot of people, but Ianto knew that they had caught her soon enough. If just this time, he could stop her from escaping again. He needed to find an alternative way of getting the gas creature out of Carys.

Ianto sighed and started slowly walking towards the lower levels. The others wouldn't be back in a while, so he didn't have any excuse for not facing Lisa again. He just couldn't bear looking at her anymore, knowing that she was practically dead already. He had planned how to tell Jack about her, but he still wasn't exactly sure how well it was going to go. Jack was so unpredictable sometimes. Ianto just hoped that he wouldn't do anything stupid.

He opened the metal door and went inside.

The team returned to the Hub about an hour and a half later. Gwen was apparently feeling very guilty about what happened, since she kept apologizing to Jack and rest of the team. Ianto tried to ignore her. It was for the best. Gwen should learn how to be more careful in this job.

"I'm so sorry," Gwen pleaded.

Jack looked at her and walked up the stairs. "Seriously, stop saying that," he said starting to sound a little annoyed. Ianto stayed quiet, trying not to get noticed. He knew that Jack was probably going to blame him when he found out that Gwen's mistake has cost a human life.

Gwen followed Jack up the stairs to the office area and then turned to Owen and Toshiko. "But I am! I mean, really, I mean really, really sorry," she said and sighed. "God, I can't believe it."

Owen walked past her. "Didn't they teach you Health and Safety in the police?" he asked, sounding irked. Ianto had a bad feeling about this.

Gwen looked helpless. "You two chucked tools at each other, so I..." she started.

"_We_ didn't miss," Owen remarked. They descended down to the autopsy bay and heaved the equipment on the metal table.

"I'll sort it. Whatever's happened, I'll deal with it," Gwen said. Then she looked a bit doubtful. ""What d'you think has happened? I mean, it was just gas, wasn't it?" she asked and walked down the stairs. "That can't be too bad, can it?"

Owen rolled his eyes. "Right, because gas never did anyone any harm."

Jack tried to stay positive. "On the plus side, we've got good evidence, relatively undamaged," he said nodding and opened the box with a sample of the space rock inside it.

Owen on the other hand, wasn't a very cheerful person. "On the downside, there's an alien on the loose, we don't know where it is, why it's here or what's it going to do," he said and glared at Gwen.

Toshiko sighed. "Give her a break!" she said.

"We all make mistakes, get over it," Jack said. "Now we find and recover whatever came out of there."

Gwen was looking devastated, so Ianto decided take the attention away from her. After all, he was partly to blame this time. He stepped to sand at the top of the steps, with a clipboard in his hands. Then he cleared his throat and everyone turned their attention to him.

"This might help," Ianto said and waved the clipboard. "Nightclub death been phoned in to 999. Circumstances sound... a little unusual."

Gwen hurried up the steps and took the clipboard from him. Ianto looked down at the rest of the team. Jack narrowed his eyes at him and Owen looked thoughtful. Apparently he hadn't entirely bought Ianto's story about time travel yet. "Might be connected," Ianto said and shrugged.

"Right," Jack said and looked around, "Everybody, prepare to leave for the club in ten. Owen, Ianto, my office, now."

Ianto had a bad feeling about this. He nervously straightened his tie and followed Jack and Owen to Jack's office. He wasn't really afraid of Jack, he was more scared about Owen, who still hadn't lectured Ianto about cutting his day off too early.

Jack closed the office door, a rare sight, and turned towards Owen and Ianto. Owen was eyeing Ianto with a weird expression on his face, as if he didn't know what to think.

Jack glanced at Owen. "Would you say Ianto's ready to work again?" he asked.

Owen didn't even look at Jack, he was too busy staring at Ianto. "Hmm," he started and took a small flashlight out of his pocked, flashing it on Ianto's eyes. Ianto tried not to blink or move. "I'd say, I'd say. He looks perfectly fine," Owen said and raised his eyebrows. "What did you do during your holiday? Sleep all day?"

Ianto was too astonished to form a clear answer. He looked that much better? He hadn't even slept that much, even though he wasn't feeling tired anymore. He just slept around four to six hours every night and now he felt perfectly fine, like he had been sleeping for nine hours instead of six. "Umm, not really," he said finally. "But I did sleep a bit more than normally." It didn't even feel like lying, since he had slept about hour or two more and now felt perfectly awake.

Owen let out a whistle. "Well, I would like to know your secrets, mate," he said and finally turned to look at Jack. "He looks like he's never been in better shape."

Jack looked thoughtful for a moment before smiling. "Now that you mention it, he looks better..." he said and grinned.

Owen put his hands over his ears. "Don't."

Jack chuckled and turned to look at Ianto. "Good to know you feel better," he said and then his smile faded. "What can you tell us about this case?"

Owen swirled around to stare at Jack. "You mean...?" he started, and glanced at Ianto with wide eyes. Ianto cringed. Of course Owen believed him the second Jack backed him up. Great.

Jack chuckled dryly. "Yes, Owen," he said. "Ianto's really from the future."

Ianto cleared his throat to change the subject. "So about this case..."

Sometimes Ianto didn't feel like he was being fully appreciated. Owen had already given him a new nickname, future boy, instead of simply calling him Ianto. But at least he realized that he couldn't call him that in presence of Toshiko and Gwen. That's when he preferred tea boy. Owen was always so hilarious.

Ianto was making coffee in the kitchen when he heard Gwen start talking about Rhys. A wave of guilt came over him as he realized that if he didn't stop Gwen, she would cheat Rhys with Owen. He decided that it was one thing he should try to change. At least then Tosh wouldn't be so unhappy either.

"You have a boyfriend?" Ianto heard Tosh ask.

"Yeah," Gwen said. "Have you?"

Ianto imagined Toshiko shaking her head. "Don't have time with this job," she said, sounding a bit apologetic, as if she was thinking how Gwen would see it herself.

Gwen turned to Owen. "What about you? You seeing anyone?"

Owen snorted. "You gotta be joking," he said. "I can get all the grief I need here."

Ianto chose that moment to appear with the coffee. "Coffee anyone?" he asked, hoping to change the subject as quickly as possible. They all took their mugs silently. That's when Gwen glanced back at Ianto, who had just turned around to leave.

"What about you, Ianto?" she asked.

Ianto stopped in his tracks, frozen in place. Jack looked around awkwardly while Toshiko and Owen turned their curious gazes upon Ianto, who was feeling kind of nauseous. He didn't want to talk about it. Especially not with Gwen there. Ianto turned around to face her, his expression blank.

"There was someone," he said, "But I lost her at Carary Wharf." He felt a twinge of pleasure as he saw the realization on Gwen's face.

"Terrorists?" Gwen asked frowning, "I'm so sorry Ianto."

Ianto smiled dryly and shook his head. Jack coughed before he could say anything. "Gwen, Carary Wharf was the base of Torchwood London," he said, and Gwen's eyes widened. "It wasn't terrorists. It was aliens."

Toshiko looked sad but not entirely surprised, and Ianto had a feeling that she already knew. But Owen looked even more surprised than Gwen. Apparently he hadn't imagined that there could be someone sharing the same fate with him in the team. After all, his fiancee's death had been caused by aliens too.

Gwen saw the somber faces of the team. "I'm sorry I brought it up," she whispered and then looked at Owen. "But what do you guys do to relax?"

Jack looked at Owen, who immediately turned back to his snarky self. "I torture people in happy relationships."

Two minutes later Toshiko was running the video image of Carys on her computer screen. The computer beeped. "Gas traces confirmed as Vorax and Suranium."

"Great, my two favourite gases," Jack said. "Can we do a check and find out what we know about them?"

Owen started working on his computer. "I'm all over it."

Gwen looked curiously at Toshiko's computer monitor. "What's this doing?" she asked.

"I've taken the image of the girl from the CCTV. This cross-checks her face with the UK population," she said like it was an entirely normal thing to say.

Gwen's eyes widened. "You can't have every face in the UK on there," she stuttered. "That would be against civil liberties, data protection, all that stuff..."

Toshiko glanced at Jack, who sighed. "Still doing that 'you', instead of 'we' thing," he remarked and sipped from his cup.

Owen's computer finished the scan. "A hundred and nineteen suspects," he groaned. "This thing's supposed to give us a single match!"

Toshiko shook her head. "The CCTV was too low res," she said. "I've tried magnifying and augmenting but it just breaks up." She glanced at Gwen. "Which means that the software can't function properly."

Ianto looked at the computer screen and made a thoughtful noise. "It's narrowed the numbers down," he mentioned and the team turned their attention to him. "I could check through the rest. You know, the old fashioned way, – " Ianto pointed to his head, "– with my eyes."

Jack grinned at him and Ianto smiled back, and then sat down before one of the computer screens, starting his work. He really didn't have time to loose.

Gwen looked a bit desperate. "What about the fingerprints I took off the alley wall?" she asked.

Toshiko ran them through the computer and there was no matches found. Gwen visibly sagged. "It was a long shot, anyway," she said.

"Just a bit," Owen remarked.

Gwen glared at him. "Least I'm trying to do something," she said.

Owen rolled his eyes. "No," he said, "you're trying to do anything." Ianto idly wondered if Owen was ever going run out of comebacks. Then he decided that the answer was no, and continued searching for Carys's picture.

Jack ignored them. "The CCTV must have picked up her arrival at the club," he said thoughtfully and turned to Toshiko, "Tosh, can you reformat the image recognition software to trace her journey backwards via the street camera network?"

Toshiko looked doubtfully. "It'll take a while to process," she said. "Every possible turn on every street means hundreds of thousands of probabilities."

Jack sighed. "Have a go," he said and turned around to watch Ianto work. "At least we'll know where she started the evening."

"We could..." Gwen started, "maybe cross reference that with the addresses on the remaining face matches?"

Owen snapped his fingers. "Good one, newbie! That's a bit more like it!"

That's when Ianto grinned and turned around. "Got it," he announced. It really helped to know what to look for. Good thing he had such a good face memory.

Gwen's eyes widened. "That was quick."

Jack grinned. "A little Ianto works miracles on any case," he said.


	12. The Plan

****Chapter 11: ******The Plan**

"Owen, do you have a minute?" Ianto asked just as the team was preparing to scatter around the Hub to collect the equipment needed for the mission.

Jack raised his eyebrows at them as he passed by, but Owen just narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms. "What is it now, future boy?"

Ianto managed not to roll his eyes at the nickname. How original. "Just making sure you have that laser cage with you."

Owen snorted. "Laser cage?" he said. "What, you didn't come up with a better name?"

"Still working on it," Ianto said, and his lips twisted into a smile.

"So you reckon we're going to need it, is that it?" Owen asked, shaking his head. Then he groaned in realization. "Is there going to be a chase? Why do they always have to run?"

"That seems to be the protocol when surrounded by strangers in gas masks and all that," Ianto said, raising his left eyebrow. "Anyway, she won't run if you do your work properly. Remember what I said earlier: cover all the exists."

Owen huffed. "Right, do as the mighty coffee maker says," he remarked. "Because you're suddenly our specialist on field work."

Ianto stared at him for a moment before realizing what he was talking about. Oh. Right. Of course. Owen wouldn't know that Ianto had been more active on the field after Jack left them on their own. Or that he had been one of the three who had been Torchwood's only agents, field or not, after... After Tosh and Owen had...

He blinked rapidly to relief the hot pressure behind his eyelids. "Right, of course," he said and looked away from Owen, who had been staring at oddly him for a while. "You know better than to let the subject get away like that, you don't need my advise."

"Right..." Owen said, looking at him with narrowed eyes. "So did you have something else, or can I continue to do my work now?"

Ianto coughed, still not meeting his eyes. "Yes," he said. "That's all."

It only took an hour before the team was back and they put Carys in the cells. Ianto was sorting through the archives at the time, finally realizing how all of his hard work had been for nothing; he would have to go through this hell hole for one more time. He groaned and stood up, stretching his back.

God, he really hadn't missed this part of his old life. How as it possible that Torchwood Three had been functioning without a proper archivist for so long? He wouldn't put it past Jack to abandon all the paper work and just throw some papers around to make it look eligible.

Ianto heard the team walking around upstairs and glanced at his watch. It was lunch time. He quickly called their favorite Chinese restaurant, ordered their usual meals and then continued with the paper work for a few minutes before going to pick up the food.

He arrived back at the hub just in time to see Gwen manhandling Owen.

"What's going on?" Ianto quietly asked Tosh, who was standing a few feets away from the pair, her arms crossed. Tosh glanced at him.

"Owen's being a jerk as usual," Tosh said and grinned slightly.

Ianto rolled his eyes.

"That girls body is being overrun by I don't know what, and you think it's a joke?" Gwen hissed at Owen.

He scowled. "All right, Jesus, I'm sorry," he muttered.

"We should be helping her, she's not some lab rat!"

Owen sighed and glared at Gwen. "No, she's a murderer. And you are the one who wanted her caught," he said and narrowed his eyes. "How come suddenly she's your best friend?"

Jack finally stepped up to them. He gave a pointed look at Owen and Gwen. "You know, strictly speaking, throttling the staff is _my_ job."

Ianto chose that moment to announce himself. "So," he said cheerily his hands full of takeaway, "Who's up for Chinese?"

* * *

><p>Ianto had really missed this.<p>

"And she said ... she said, 'If I'd known that's what he was, I never would have married him!'"

Everyone but Gwen burst into laughter at Jack's tale.

"She knew. She knew all along!" Tosh said, waving her chopsticks.

Owen snorted. "She didn't care."

"Until," Ianto said, grinning, "He started leaving black piles of mucus in the bathtub."

Jack made a face and picked up his glass. "Always the big giveaway. Aliens have no sense of household hygiene," he took a sip of his drink and then got up. "Which reminds me, gotta pee."

Jack left the room and they all went silent. As soon as he was out of hearing range, Owen eyed Gwen and asked, "So what's he told you?"

"What about?"

Tosh leaned forward. "Himself," she said.

Gwen blinked. "You've been here longer than I have."

"We were banking on you!" Tosh whispered.

Owen nodded. "You're a copper, you're trained to ask questions."

On the other hand, Ianto really hadn't missed any of __this__. They had all been so suspicious of Jack... Even Ianto himself. He really didn't like it, it was almost as if they didn't trust Jack at all.

"You don't know anything?"

"Not who he is, not where he's from," Owen said, shrugging. "Nothing, except him being gay."

Gwen looked rather devastated. "No, he's not... Really, do you think?"

Tosh shook her head. "No," she said and smiled. "Owen does, I don't."

"Period military is not the dress code of a straight man," Owen said and took a sip of his drink.

Gwen shrugged. "I think it suits him," she said. "Sort of classic."

"Exactly!" Tosh said. "I've watched him in action. He'll shag anything if it's gorgeous enough."

Even though the comment hurt a bit, Ianto raised his eyebrow. "I think the right term would be omnisexual."

Gwen's eyes widened. "Really?"

Owen groaned. "That's gross!"

"We know he's from America, right?"

"We don't even know that for sure."

Tosh nodded. "No US citizen by the name of Jack Harkness born in the last fifty years."

"Maybe his identity's classified?" Gwen asked.

Ianto shrugged. He hadn't remembered how nosy they all had been. "It's really none of our business."

Gwen glanced at him. "Ianto's right... And he must have his reasons for wanting to keep things secret."

Owen raised his eyebrows at them, then shrugged. "Sure he has. Doesn't stop me wanting to know what they are," he said, raising his bottle and taking a sip.

"What's that sound?"

They looked towards the CCTV footage, showing live what happened in Carys' cell. Ianto swallowed a mouthful of the Chinese food and then put the rest away. This really wasn't one of their best moments.

Jack arrived, glanced at the footage and sat on his seat like nothing had happened.

Gwen rose and went to take a closer look at the footage. She turned around. "What are we doing, having Chinese while a girl fights for her life?"

Ianto averted his eyes and looked down on the table. He knew that Carys would be okay in the end, but it really didn't make him feel any less guilty about Gwen's comments.

Jack just continued eating. "Actually while we've been eating the computers have been running a full bio-scan on Carys, profiling her blood, metabolism, organs, skin, the works," he said and shrugged. "So we can see what effect the alien's having on her. They've also been taking samples of the air in the cell so we can analyze any changes in the environment around her. Now, is that enough? Do you want more?" He chuckled. "Cos, uh, it gets kinda boring."

Gwen smiled softly at him. "You've been hidden down here too long. Spending so much time with the alien stuff, you've lost what it means to be human."

Ianto glanced at her, then at Jack, who was staring at her defiantly. "So remind us. Tell me what it means to be human in the 21st century."

* * *

><p>Later that same day, Ianto was working at the tourist office, sorting through the leaflets. He glanced at his watch and raised an eyebrow. It was about a time for Carys to come through the door. And just like last time, she did come, carrying the tube with the Doctor's hand. She stopped like a deer in the headlights when she noticed Ianto.<p>

"I'm sorry, but this ends here," he said and cocked the pistol in his hands.

Jack burst through the door and his eyes widened as he noticed Ianto.

"Need me to do any attacking, sir?" Ianto asked without even glancing at his boss.

"Just open the door Ianto," Jack said and put his own gun in its holster. "And for god's sake, put that gun away, you'll hurt someone."

Ianto raised an eyebrow. "Actually, I'm a rather good shot," he cocked his head and stared at Carys. "Want to try me?"

The alien inside Carys sneered and threw the jar on the floor, hoping to distract them. It shattered the instant it hit the hard floor. Jack yelled and hopped after it, hoping to save the Doctor's hand.

But Ianto still had Carys at gun point. "You're not going anywhere."

Owen, Jack and Ianto were once again sitting in Jack's office.

"Last time this happened, she escaped and then killed dozens of people before we caught her," Ianto said.

"You could have warned me, you know," Owen growled. "You knew what was going to happen."

Ianto smiled inwardly. Owen had still ended up naked. "Sorry. You're not hurt, are you?" He shook his head and shrugged. "I didn't see any way to prevent that from happening."

"Still, that was incredibly foolish Ianto." Jack scowled. "And where did you get that gun? I haven't given it to you."

Ianto shrugged. "I took the liberty of and picked one, I knew I would need it at some point. And I've already gone through the training anyway."

Jack pouted. "But..."

Owen coughed, cutting him off. "Why would you need a gun if you're just the archivist?"

Ianto stared at him. "Things happen in the future which leads to everyone here needing gun training," he said, face blank of emotion. "But that's not important right now. Carys' body isn't going to last much longer."

"He's right," Owen said and sighed, crossing his arms. "I did some experiments with the rats just a minute ago, and let met tell you, the results weren't pretty."

"So what can we do?" Jack asked, frowning.

"Last time Gwen volunteered to be the next vessel," Ianto mused. "Maybe we could talk to her and she'd do it this time too."

"Isn't that dangerous?" Jack asked.

Owen scowled. "Incredibily dangerous, she'd get killed."

Ianto nodded. "Yes, she would. But only if we actually let the gas thing inside her."

Owen's eyebrows rose. "Oh, I believe I know where this is going."

Things went exactly like last time, except this time all the men at the sperm bank didn't die. Gwen of course agreed to play part of the bait, and they trapped the gas alien in the cage until it died from being without a host just a few minutes later, prompting Ianto to let out a relieved sigh. Everything had gone according to plan.

That same evening found Jack and Ianto standing on the roof.

"I'm glad that I didn't mess this up," Ianto said after a moment of silence.

Jack glanced at him. "What do you mean?"

Ianto frowned. "I could have accidentally killed us all, or Carys. I had a plan but I really wasn't so sure about what was going to happen."

"Well, I'm glad if we could save even all of those people that thing would have killed without your interference," Jack huffed and looked towards the setting sun.

"That's not so bad, yes," Ianto said and smiled a bit.

"When am I going to meet him again?" Jack asked abruptly.

Ianto glanced at him, surprised by the subject change. "Oh. Right, you mean the Doctor?"

"Yes."

He thought about it for a minute. "You're going to meet him in a few months," he said and saw Jack smile. "But that means that you're no longer going to be here."

Jack's smile faltered. "He's not coming here?"

Ianto shook his head. "No. You're going to have to chase him, because he doesn't seem to want to meet you."

The silence came back with that. It also brought back important thoughts. Ianto knew he couldn't put this off any longer. He would have to tell someone, and he hoped that Jack would be his best option. He sighed and put his arms around himself, hugging himself. Why did everything always have to be so bloody hard?

"Penny for your thoughts," Jack said after a while, grinning at him. Ianto didn't grin back.

"I think..." he swallowed. "I think I need your help."

Jack frowned and turned fully to face him. "What's the matter?"

"Jack...What do you know about the Battle of Canary Wharf?"


	13. Cyberwoman

**A/N: **Aaand I'm back from England, once again!

I had so much fun in Durham, I made new friends, played sports, and we visited the Elephant House in Edinburgh and walked upon the city walls in York...

So thousands of thanks to my new beta reader and friend, **Fendra**, for offering to become my beta reader even though I already spoiled her half of my stories in my excitement after she told me she'd read my stories online...

I'm a bit concerned about this chapter, because angst isn't really my forte, but I'm kind of hoping it might make some of you cry because personally I love crying when reading fanfictions... And because I'm evil.

Don't forget to (be awesome) and review!

**Disclaimer:** Torchwood belongs to BBC.

**Warnings? **This is about Torchwood. There will always be slash.

* * *

><p><strong><strong>Chapter 12: Cyberwoman<strong>**

"What do you know about the Battle of Canary Wharf?"

Jack's brow furrowed at the question and Ianto held his breath.

"I know the fact that the Battle of Canary Wharf brought Torchwood London down," Jack said and crossed his arms. "Yvonne Hartman started it all with those ghost shifts of hers. They made a hole in the fabric of reality with their experiments and brought the Cybermen and the Daleks here from another dimension." He paused for a minute. "We were the ones to clean up after them, with help from UNIT."

Ianto forced himself breathe slowly and steadily and he nodded, furiously trying to think of a good way to reveal his darkest secret. For a moment he stared off into the distance, different thoughts swirling inside his head. He couldn't just tell Jack that he had a Cyberman in the basement, he would have to make him understand __why__.

He turned his gaze to Jack. "And what do you know about the Cybermen?"

Jack stared at him for a while, his face serious and thoughtful, as if he wasn't sure what to reveal to Ianto.

"I don't know their story in detail, but we knew them in the Time Agency. They're kind of a myth, really," Jack said thoughtfully. "They conquer planets and convert people into new cybermen or just simply kill them. There have been rumours that they've been wiped out several times, but somehow they always seem to appear again."

Ianto nodded again. He knew all this already, of course. This wasn't the first time he had spoken to Jack about Cybermen after losing Lisa. He had wanted to know if there had been any chance to save her, or if he had robbed that chance of recovery with his hasty actions...

"Lisa Hallet," Ianto said after a brief silence.

"Your girlfriend?" Jack asked, face expressionless and his head cocking to the side. "What about her?"

"We both worked for Torchwood London. I was new there when I met her. I remember seeing her in the cafeteria. She bought me a coffee, and we had the most interesting conversation I had had in a long time, and I looked at her and I thought; __this is the woman I'm going spend the rest of my life with."__ Ianto said and smiled grimly. "But I guess it was never meant to happen."

Jack's expression didn't change. "She died." It wasn't a question.

Ianto took a deep breath, not bothering to answer him, and continued. "I want you to listen to what I have to say Jack," he said, keeping eye contact with Jack. "I'm just asking for this one thing. Please, __I beg you__, listen to the whole story before you do anything."

Jack stared at him in silence for a moment, and then nodded.

Ianto wrung his hands nervously behind his back. "I had a feeling that Yvonne's experiments weren't all that good. Those ghosts were unnatural, and I know for a fact that wasn't the only one who thought so. But of course, why would someone like Yvonne ever listen to a junior archivist like me? So I stayed silent," Ianto said with a dry laugh.

"That day started like any other day. I was working down in the archives while Lisa was on the upper levels. Then the Doctor came, and soon after his arrival, the ghost shift turned into an invasion."

He spied a glance at Jack, whose face had gone from stony to attentive at the mention of the Doctor. "The Cybermen started upgrading people, but when the Daleks arrived, they had to work faster. Normal upgrading was too slow for them, so they stopped removing the brain and started converting whole bodies," he said, and his voice wavered.

"I was of course a little safer in the cellar levels, and I knew I had to keep myself hidden until I could search for Lisa. At one point I tried calling her, but she couldn't answer. I tracked down her phone and went there to get her out of there..." Ianto swallowed. "That's when all the Cybermen and the Daleks started vanishing. When I found her... She was strapped into one of the conversion units. I dragged her out." Ianto closed his eyes. "But the conversion had already started."

"Did you kill her?"

Ianto's eyes flew open at Jack's cold blooded question. "I couldn't," he gasped, looking straight at Jack's blue eyes, which narrowed at his answer. "I couldn't... She was still herself, but she was in so much pain... She taught me which parts of the conversion units were needed to keep her alive... I hid her from the UNIT soldiers and while they were doing the body count, I took her to safety."

Jack's hands gripped his shoulders so fast that Ianto almost lost his balance.

"What did you do Ianto!" he barked. "Is that thing still alive?"

Ianto could feel pressure behind his eyes, and he begged himself not to start crying now, not in front of Jack when he was still so angry. "I had to save her, Jack," he said. "I had to try and find a way."

"Damn it, Ianto, you know there's no way!" Jack growled, gritting his teeth. His grip tightened slightly and Ianto could feel his fingers digging into his shoulders. That was going to bruise.

"I know," Ianto said, his voice sounding monotone even to his own ears. "I know now. Jack, the first time... She killed two people. I can't let that happen again. I need your help."

Jack scowled. "What do you want me to say, Ianto?" he said, letting his grip loosen a bit. "There's no cure and there never will be. Once someone is converted they stay that way."

Ianto nodded slowly. He hadn't expected anything else. "I know," he repeated. "But I still want you to promise me... Promise me you'll let Owen to take a look at her. She's not fully converted Jack, she knows me, she's still Lisa."

Jack let out a sigh and closed his eyes for a moment. Then he opened them and growled, "Owen will take a look at her and he'll do what he can, but I promise you this Ianto," his eyes narrowed, "If she shows any signs of wanting to convert or kill anyone, we'll have to stop her." In other words, kill her.

Ianto swallowed. "I know," he whispered.

Jack stared at him for a moment before nodding. "Now," he said, leaning in close. "Where. Is. She?"

Jack agreed to call Owen by Ianto's request. Owen of course grumbled and moaned at them on the phone, but in the end came back to the Hub quite quickly. "Now what's this all about?"

Ianto and Jack exchanged glances, and Jack nodded for him to explain.

"I think that the easiest way to explain is to show you..." Ianto said quietly. "Follow me."

He lead them to the hub cellars where he was keeping Lisa strapped into cybernetic life supports. As he opened the large double doors, Owen let out an angry noise and took a step backwards.

"What is that __thing __doing in our basement?"

Ianto wanted to scowl, but he really didn't have the strength to argue with Owen right now. "Her name is Lisa Hallet, and she's my girlfriend," he said wearily. Owen's face softened. "She was a casualty of the Battle of Canary Wharf."

Both Owen and Jack took hesitant steps closer, Jack's face impassive as ever and Owen's grimacing in disgust.

"I've never seen anything like this," Owen said after a while, his brow furrowing. "Was the conversion not completed?"

Ianto nodded, but then noticed that Owen wasn't looking his way. "Yes," he said. "I dragged her out of the conversion chamber before she was fully gone."

"There's no way to cure her," Jack repeated. "But I promised Ianto you would take a look and do your best."

Owen scoffed. "There's really nothing I can do," he said and took a closed look at Lisa, whose eyes were closed. "Is she conscious?"

"I am," Lisa gasped out, her eyes still closed. Owen took a step back.

Ianto hurried forward and took hold of her hand. "I'm sorry Lisa, are the painkillers not working?" he said and bit his lip, not wanting to confess to her yet what was inevitably going to happen. From the corner of his eye he saw Jack narrowing his eyes a little.

"They are working," she breathed out again, this time opening her eyes and looking at Owen and Jack. Her eyes focused on Jack's face. "You must be Jack Harkness."

"And you are Lisa Hallet," Jack answered coolly. "You should be dead."

Ianto whipped his head to glare at Jack, but Lisa just let out a pained laugh. "I know."

Owen finally took out his little doctor's flashlight and inspected her eyes. "What is the last thing you remember before coming here with Ianto?"

Lisa shut her eyes. "Pain..." she said. "There was so much pain."

Ianto clenched his teeth together to keep his face from crumbling. He hadn't been talking with Lisa for this long in ages, not since coming back in time. He hadn't had the courage to face her... But now, knowing that there was probably nothing they could do...

"Ianto," Owen said after a minute of silence, drawing Ianto a bit further away from Jack and Lisa. "I'm going to have to transfer her upstairs, all my equipment is there and the lightning down here sucks."

Ianto blinked and nodded. "I'll help."

"I'm sorry mate, but there's probably nothing I can do," Owen said quietly, grimacing. "But I'll give it a try, OK?"

Ianto just nodded again, not trusting his voice.

They moved her upstairs to the medical bay and Owen started running tests. The wait for the results was long and painful, and Ianto spend most of the time talking with Lisa about their past experiences to keep his mind from thinking about what was probably going to happen next.

After a while they both fell silent, and Owen walked back into the medical bay with Jack, carrying the results in his hands.

"Ianto, may I have a word with you?"

Lisa opened her eyes to look at Owen from the table where she was lying on. "Anything you have to tell him I have a right to hear too." Jack raised an eyebrow at that.

Ianto bit his lip and hesitated. "She's right," he said. "She has the right to hear the truth."

Owen sighed. "As I presumed, there's really nothing we can do about the conversion. If we go nudging about the controls it could cause the conversion complete itself, and she would be lost for good."

Ianto squeezed Lisa's hand and she squeezed back.

"I'm sorry," Owen said, really sounding honest this time. "I really am. But all we can do for you is to make sure you won't be in any pain, and eventually we have to let you go."

Lisa closed her eyes. "I've been aware this was going to happen for some time now..." she said and opened her eyes, looking straight at Ianto. "There's no need to wait. I think I'm ready to go tonight."

Ianto's eyes widened. He could feel the first stray teardrop slowly falling down his face. "Lisa..."

"Ianto, you know there's nothing to be done," she said patiently, taking both of Ianto's hands in hers and squeezing them tight. "It's not fair for either of us to keep me here any longer. I know how it's been dragging you down to keep looking after me and seeing me in pain."

They stared at each other for a few minutes, until Ianto finally nodded and blinked away the tears. He sniffed and glanced at Jack and Owen, who were respectively looking away and keeping silent a few feet away.

Jack caught his glance and turned to Owen. "Do you think you can get ready tonight?" he asked and glanced at his watch. It was quarter past eleven.

Owen pursed his lips but nodded.

They decided to do it just before midnight. Lisa was lying on a table, already dosed with painkillers, and Ianto was standing right next to her, speaking to her in soft voice.

"Are you sure you want to do this now?" he asked, tears already falling down his face and his voice sounding creaky. "Maybe we should wait until later... Maybe... Maybe Owen can think of something... Or Tosh..."

"Ianto," Lisa whispered softly and smiled at him. Owen was looking at them for a cue and she glanced at him. "I'm ready."

Ianto tried to smile back but it came out more as a grimace. "I love you."

"I love you more."

They held hands for two more minutes before her hold softened and Ianto let out a quiet whimper.

He shouldn't be so upset.

He'd already gone through this once.

At least this time he got to say goodbye.

But still.

It hurt so much.

He didn't collapse until he was in the morgue alone with Lisa's body. He leaned over the table and sobbed for everything they would miss now that she was gone. Even though he had already lost her once, it still felt like yesterday when they'd last been to a dinner together, smiling and laughing and then later getting into a pillow fight on his sofa. But it was all in the past now and it was never going to happen again.

Ianto desperately gasped for breath as tears streamed down his face.

He felt a warm hand on his back and turned instinctively to bury his face in Jack's shoulder. He didn't care that he was ruining Jack's favourite shirt with his tears, he just wanted to be held by Jack. And oh, god, he loved Jack so much, and that thought only made him cry more because this wasn't __his __Jack.

"Shh," Jack whispered, hugging Ianto's body close to his and soothingly tracing circles on his back. "It's okay Ianto. Everything's going to be okay."


	14. What a wonderful life

****Chapter 13: What a wonderful life****

Ianto took a deep breath and closed his eyes. His nose was buried in Jack's neck and god, did the man smell good. He would've been completely fine just standing there with Jack for the rest of his life, but unfortunately it wasn't to be.

"Feeling better?" Jack asked softly.

Ianto swallowed thickly and took in one last breath of Jack's scent. Then he reluctantly stepped back and sniffed a little. "Yes," he croaked out and rubbed his eyes. "Sorry about that. And thank you."

Jack just smiled at him and gently squeezed his shoulder. "It's all right. I understand."

Ianto knew that already. Of course Jack Harkness understood what it felt like to lose someone. He was immortal. He was never going to stop losing people he loved.

That brought the pressure behind is eyelids back and he had to bit his lip to keep himself from bursting into tears. "Sorry," he sniffed out.

Jack tilted his head questionably at him. "You don't have to apologize for crying, Ianto," he said, bemused. "You loved her."

Ianto nodded, but couldn't meet Jack's gaze. "Yes, but I'm sorry to involve all of you in this mess... The cybermen and Lisa..." he said. "And now you're here comforting me, even though I was the one who could've caused all of us get killed."

Jack nodded, his face hardening a bit. "We'll have to talk about that."

Ianto closed his eyes for a second. He hated this. Why did he get a second chance? He couldn't even save Lisa, how was he going to save anyone else? How as he going to save Owen and Tosh-

He bit his lip again and sheltered his eyes with his right hands to stop Jack from seeing the new tears threatening to stream down his face. Fuck.

"Ianto," Jack said, "I don't think you should come to work tomorrow."

Ianto quickly wiped the tears away and looked up at him. Jack's mouth as a tight line. "What?" Ianto asked, "No, I can handle this, I've already done it once, I can work as well as anyone-"

"It's not about your capability to work," Jack said, sounding frustrated. "You brought a serious security threat under our own roof, and kept it here for months! I have to suspend you for at least four weeks."

Ianto's heart skipped a beat. "I don't understand," he said quickly. "I told you. I changed things. Why are you..."

"I have to give you a choice," Jack said, his voice and face void of any emotion. "You'll be suspended for four weeks, and after that you can choose to come back or leave Torchwood."

"But I've already made that decision!" Ianto said, "I don't want to forget!"

"You'll just have to do it again. I will explain everything to the team," Jack said. "You don't need to be there." He walked away.

Ianto stared at his retreating back until it disappeared. He couldn't comprehend what had just happened.

He was suspended.

For four weeks.

He wouldn't see Jack in four weeks.

Four weeks.

He heard a gasping sound and then realized it was his breath. He was panicking. Why was he panicking?

He decided to sit down and leaned his back against the vaults.

Okay. So he was suspended.

He tried to take a deep breath, but it turned into little gasps.

Shit.

He was suspended.

Last time during his suspension, he had just lied on his bed for the most of the time and stared at the ceiling. He remembered thinking about doing the deed himself so that Jack wouldn't have to get his hands dirty. He'd lost total five pounds by the end of it. Mostly because he hadn't bothered to get up to eat.

He didn't want to go back to that gnawing feeling between wanting to off himself and between thinking he was already dead.

He let out a short laugh at that. He was already dead, wasn't he?

And then he buried his head in his legs and groaned. This was going to be hell.

* * *

><p>Ianto was right in thinking it was going to be hard. But he was wrong in thinking it wasn't going to be helpful to him.<p>

He knew he couldn't off himself, mostly because that would be incredibly stupid thing to do now that he had a second change. Even though he wasn't doing very well on changing things yet, he knew he had to at least try to save Owen and Toshiko.

That's why he forced himself up from his bed every morning even though he hadn't slept for more than three hours, and forced himself to eat. He forced himself to go through the every day motions, and after the couple of days of moping, he even made plans.

How to change things. He decided that the first thing he could do, now that he wasn't working, was to increase his physical fitness. Right now, he was in pretty bad shape compared to his body in the future. He was malnourished and pretty much lacked muscle. So he put his laptop into good use an researched things, started eating more healthily and exercising. He went for an hour long run every morning and even bought weights to add some muscle to his body.

When he wasn't taking care of himself, he was writing down things from the future to keep himself from forgetting anything important. After three weeks, he had pretty much filled an entire binder with details he could remember.

He was just coming from an early run one morning, when he saw Jack shuffling around outside his door and banging on the door furiously. He stopped and stretched before taking off his headphones and walking up to him.

"How long have you been standing here?" Ianto asked, amused by the way Jack was obviously considering taking down the door.

"Ianto!" Jack said, his eyes wide as he took in Ianto's sports attire. "I thought..."

"That I was just going to mope around for four weeks?" he asked, and raised an eyebrow, amused. Even though he had done so in his past. "Not all of us are immortal and look forever like they're in their thirties."

Jack's eyes seemed to widen even further. "Wait-," he took a step closer and hissed. "You know about that?"

Ianto stared at him. Oh, right. Still not his Jack. "Umm, I forgot to tell you?"

Jack rolled his eyes and huffed. "You speak about it like it doesn't bother you."

Ianto walked past Jack and opened the door. "It doesn't anymore," he said and turned to look back at Jack. "Are you coming in to talk or did you just come here to stalk me?" he asked and raised an eyebrow at Jack's sudden urge to look elsewhere. "I'm going to take a shower. I'll make some coffee for you later if you really have something to talk about."

Ianto handed the coffee mug to Jack. He looked like he was in heaven after the first sip. "Remind me to never suspend you again," Jack mumbled.

Ianto stared at him with a tilted head and grabbed his own mug with both hands. It was warm against his cold fingers. "So you wanted to talk to me?"

Jack took another sip and nodded. "Owen kindly reminded me that you probably weren't in best of minds when you left the Hub. I had to check up on you to make sure you..." he trailed off awkwardly.

Ianto sighed. "Yeah, Owen probably saw the CCTV footage," he groaned. "He's going to haunt my arse when I get back."

Jack froze, his mug hanging in air and stared at him with his mouth open. "What footage?"

Oops.

"Uh, I kind of had a panic attack," he said grimacing at Jack's alarmed expression. "It's not the first time that has happened since I woke up back here."

"Did you talk to Owen about this?" Jack asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Didn't feel like it was important," Ianto said and shrugged. "It was only one time before. I was coming back to the Hub for the first time since..." he trailed off. He couldn't tell Jack that the Hub had been lost.

"Since?"

"Since... Ummm. Something happened in the future," he said hesitantly. "I can't tell you right now."

Jack frowned, but let it go. "Right," he said. "But how have you been feeling recently?"

"You were partly right. I was moping the first few days until I decided to stop complaining and start doing something about the future. So I started exercising." He decided not to mention how he hadn't slept more than three hours in a month now.

"Sounds good," Jack said and grinned. "Looks good too. So you're coming back?"

Ianto nodded. "This is still a second chance even though I couldn't do anything about Lisa," he said and swallowed. Her name still hurt. "I'm going to try my best."

"Man on a mission, as I said," Jack smirked and stood up, heading towards the door. Ianto followed, but not before placing the empty coffee mugs into the sink.

"I'll see you on Monday then," Jack said as he opened the door. He looked considerably more cheerful than he had looked outside his door. Probably had something to do with having his coffee.

"Sure," Ianto said, amused.

"Oh, and Ianto?" Jack said just before going through the doorway.

"Hm?"

Jack turned around, grabbed Ianto by his shoulders and met his lips in a delicious kiss. Jack's lips tasted like coffee and oh, so very Jack.

As their lips parted, Jack grinned down at him, said: "Thanks for the coffee," and left.

Ianto stared at the closed door and touched his slightly swollen lips. His life was completely ridiculous.


	15. Back to work

**A/N:** Hah! Surprise, it's a new chapter!

So, it's been a while. I have promised to write this story to the end, and I'm going to keep that promise. I hope you guys like the new chapter.

Huge thanks to you all for your lovely reviews so far! They keep me going.

I also want to send thanks to my new beta reader,** black_k_kat** (can be found on LJ), for being so awesome.

**Disclaimer:** Torchwood belongs to BBC.

**Warnings? **This is about Torchwood. There will always be slash.

* * *

><p><strong><strong>Chapter 14: Back to work<strong>**

Ianto walked through the cog-wheel door, feeling anxious. He kept fiddling with his suit and straightening his tie. He knew that Jack had briefed everyone about the cause of his suspension, but he didn't want anyone to think too differently of him. Last time, when everyone had seen what Lisa was and what she had done, they all kept glancing at him with varying degrees of pity and suspicion. Ianto strode into the kitchen and started doing what he knew best; coffee.

When the first batch of coffee was finished, he heard Jack moving around his bunker and a minute later coming out of his office. "The coffee god has returned," Jack said and grinned widely at him. "I thought I smelled something lovely."

"Well, I sure feel like you appreciate me for the right things," Ianto answered, rolling his eyes. He poured Jack a cup and handed it to him. "There's a lot more to my job than making coffee."

"I know. You're also a quite piece of eye candy," Jack drawled out and winked.

Ianto grimaced at the expression. John Hart. "Please do not say that ever again, sir," he said through gritted teeth.

Jack sipped his coffee. "Sorry," he wondered and raised an eyebrow. "Didn't know you'd take it so seriously."

"Workplace harassment is a serious issue, sir," Ianto said and grinned, feeling a bit better already. Jack wasn't anything like Hart. Well, mostly... He walked next to Jack and leaned in. "I wouldn't want to imply it's okay in anyway," he continued, then whispered in his ear: "...__Sir__."

Jack shuddered. "You need to stop doing that."

Ianto raised an eyebrow, not backing down. "But I thought you liked it when I call you sir, __sir__."

Jack's hands found their way around Ianto's hips. Their faces were inches away from each other, and slowly they started to lean in- And of course that was when Owen stepped around the corner and made a noise close to choking.

"Oi!" he said and turned around, a hand on his eyes. "A little warning before deciding to molest the tea boy would be nice!"

Ianto just raised an eyebrow. He honestly didn't even care about Owen's remarks anymore. But Jack let go of him and took a step back like he agreed with Owen, all the while somehow managing to look like he regretted it.

"We didn't hear you come in," Jack said and threw a glance at the cog-wheel door.

Owen turned around and peeked through his fingers, and lowered his hand as he saw that they weren't plastered around each other anymore. "Well, I was just testing Toshiko's theory about being able to change the settings so that it wouldn't be so bloody noisy all the time," he complained. "Seriously, it hurts my head sometimes."

Ianto poured a cup of coffee and handed it to Owen. "I agree," he said, while wondering why this hadn't happened in the last time line. The door really got annoying after a while.

"Hmm," Jack said and eyed the two of them. "I'll talk to Toshiko about this. I think that's a rather good idea." He took what was left of his coffee with him and climbed up to his office.

Despite the fact that he followed Jack's retreat with his eyes to avoid looking at him, Ianto was left standing there with Owen, who kept squinting his eyes at Ianto. He knew what would come next.

"So, you're shagging the boss, then?" Owen asked after a while.

Ianto raised an eyebrow at the accusation. "I am not," he said seriously, but then smirked. "Not yet."

"Ugh, so didn't need to know that," Owen said and took a big gulp of his coffee. "But seriously, you're... kinda different."

Ianto blinked. "How so?"

"You used to be so reclusive about these kind of things." Owen shrugged. "But after your little time travel experience, you've been more straightforward." He paused, and corrected himself. "Well, bent."

"I guess," Ianto answered. The idea had never occurred to him. He knew he used to angst about a lot of things back then, but he didn't even consider the fact that he was now, as they said, out of the closet.

"And I thought that after your girlfriend..." Owen made a noise. "You know... You wouldn't be so enthusiastic about Jack's flirting," he said and his expression darkened. "I know I wasn't."

Ianto stared at him for a moment, before nodding. Owen rarely shared anything personal with him. "You're right of course," Ianto mused. "But to me, Lisa had been dead for a long time. I guess, somewhere deep inside, I knew that even with a second chance, I couldn't..."

They stood there for a moment, and Owen finished his coffee. He put the cup down in the kitchen sink and clapped his hands.

"Alright," he said. "And now it's time to talk business."

Ianto tilted his head. "What?"

"Well, you were suspended for harboring a psychopathic girlfriend in the cellar, so I need to do a full medical on you before you can start working. It's a procedure and all."

Ianto couldn't believe his ears. It was like Owen actually wanted to do his job, again. In the other timeline, when he'd been suspended, Owen had been so angry with him that he hadn't even mentioned any medical examinations. But this Owen kept showing concern about him, even though they weren't even that close yet. He was a bit confused, but nonetheless followed Owen to the medical bay.

"And of course, there's the little fact that you think you're from the future," he said as he started searching for Ianto's files. "It doesn't matter if you know things or not, I still think you're absolutely bonkers."

Ianto rolled his eyes. "Of course you do."

It only took Owen about 20 minutes to take Ianto's blood tests and do a full medical on him, and despite the fact that Owen kept frowning and raising his eyebrows at some things, he let him go very soon after that, telling him to come back later that day to hear the results. So he went back to making coffee, as Gwen and Toshiko hadn't arrived yet and he was sure the first thing they would ask for would be coffee.

"Ianto!" Tosh greeted him barely ten minutes later. She looked up and down at him and smiled gently. "You look good!"

Ianto blushed lightly. "Thank you," he said and instinctively offered her a mug. "Coffee?"

"Oh, don't be silly," she said, took the mug from him and put it on the table. "Give me a hug, I've missed having you around." Then she effectively glomped him.

"Uh," he muttered, feeling a pressure behind his eyes, and hoping to god he wouldn't start crying. He honestly couldn't remember the last time he'd hugged Tosh. "I've missed you too."

"How have you been?" Tosh asked softly after they separated. "Jack told us about..."

He stiffened a bit. "I'm coping," he said.

Tosh nodded and let it go. "But you know Ianto, if you ever want to talk about anything... Just call me, okay? We could order some pizza and watch James Bond."

Ianto felt his eyes widen. He didn't remember ever telling this Tosh about his love for Bond movies. "How did you..."

"I have my ways." She winked. "Now, how about that coffee?"

* * *

><p>When she eventually arrived, Gwen effectively avoided talking to him for the whole day. Ianto understood why, he knew he wasn't even remotely close with Gwen yet, but it still hurt. He was on his way to bring Jack his afternoon coffee when Owen stopped him.<p>

"So I've got your results," Owen said, frowning down at the papers on his hands. "They've improved like hell, again. What's your secret?"

Ianto shrugged. "I don't know, I've just been eating healthy, stopped drinking and been exercising regularly."

Owen made a face at that. "Well, good luck with that. Anyway, there's nothing wrong with you. Your blood's all fine, you've gained some muscle and lost some fat. But that last bit I could've told even by looking at you."

Ianto hoped he wasn't blushing. He wasn't used to getting compliments from his work mates. "Uh, thank you."

Owen just waved a hand at him and left. Ianto headed back towards Jack's office.

"Ah, coffee god has blessed me with his presence at last," Jack said from behind his desk and stretched his arms and neck. "I was hoping for some coffee magic to help me with these papers."

Ianto smiled. "Well, that's something I can help with," he said and handed Jack a steaming mug of coffee, in his favourite blue striped mug.

Jack took a sip and groaned, closing his eyes. The sound went straight through Ianto's body and was close to making him shiver.

Jack opened his eyes slowly and smirked at him with a knowing expression, before he put the mug down and his face became serious. He crossed his arms and stared levelly at Ianto. "We need to talk, about that kiss," he said.

Ianto raised an eyebrow, face passive. "Do we?"

"Don't we?" Jack continued, confused.

"I don't know, why do you think so?" He loved teasing Jack. The poor man had no idea.

"But you said that you had someone special in the future," he said slowly. "Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against this," he made a gesture between the two of them and raised an eyebrow, "but aren't you a twenty first century kinda guy? With monogamy being all the rage?"

Ianto smiled slowly. "I honestly don't think he'd mind, sir."

Jack stared at him for a minute before shrugging. "Well, as long as you're sure."

"I am," Ianto said, nodding. He turned and walked to the doorway. "Is there anything else you need, sir?"

Jack was silent for a moment, and then Ianto could hear steps behind him. "Oh, there's something, alright." He took a hold of Ianto's shoulders and turned him around for a kiss. This time it wasn't just a short, but a proper one, being all Jack, tongue and wandering hands.

The kiss left Ianto breathless, but with a smirk on his face. "I think we can do something about that."


	16. Small Worlds

**Chapter 15: Small Worlds**

Ianto was lying next to Jack in his bunker, his head propped on Jack's warm chest. Jack seemed to be somewhere between sleep and awareness, while Ianto felt more awake than he had in a while. Still, that didn't mean he wanted to get up; far from it. He wanted to stay there next to Jack as long as he could.

That was when Jack began sighing restlessly and his head started moving from right to left. He was having a nightmare. Ianto's hands caressed Jack's chest, as they'd done so many times before. As he wondered what Jack was dreaming about, Ianto softly touched the side of his face, making soft noises to calm him down. "Shh, _cariad_, it's just a nightmare." Jack let out a deep sigh and stopped struggling.

The Year that Never Was hadn't happened yet, so that couldn't possibly be the source of Jack's torment. His thoughts began wandering and he tried to figure out what day it was. Back in the original timeline, this was the day they had started investigating the fairies and...

_Oh._

Jack must have been able to feel them approaching somehow, and was having nightmares because of it. Ianto closed his eyes and let out a sigh. He didn't know if he was ready for all of this. He obviously had no other choice though. Ianto silently put on his trousers and the shirt he'd been wearing several hours earlier. He didn't bother buttoning the shirt since he knew it would still be a long time before anyone else came to the Hub.

He threw one last glance at Jack, who had calmed down, and climbed up from the bunker as quietly as he could. Ianto headed towards the closest computer which was monitoring the rift. He had decided he would have to do something to help Jack through this. He'd even like to try and save Estelle, if he just could.

He'd been checking and double checking the weather for a while, when Jack finally climbed up the stairs and joined him. He stopped behind Ianto and pulled him into a hug, resting his head on Ianto's shoulder.

"What have you got there?" Jack asked softly, his hands softly caressing Ianto's chest and shoulder. Ianto instinctively leaned back towards Jack's warmth and sighed.

"Funny sort of weather patterns," he said and looked over his shoulder at Jack. "I think it's the fairies, or whatever is the correct term."

Jack tensed up behind him, but didn't let go. Instead he tightened his hold on Ianto and sighed deeply. "I guess you know about them too, huh?"

Ianto nodded, and hesitantly raised his hand to put it on top of Jack's. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Don't you already know everything?" Jack answered, bitterness clear in his voice.

"Doesn't mean I couldn't listen," Ianto said and squeezed his hand. Jack squeezed back and buried his nose into Ianto's neck, breathing deeply.

"Maybe later," he whispered after a while. Ianto could feel him smiling now, and his warm breath gave Ianto goose bumps. "Let's go back to bed, hmm?"

Ianto smiled and let himself to be lead, just for now.

Back in Ianto's original timeline, Jack hadn't talked about Estelle that much. They hadn't exactly been on friendly talking terms at that point, and Ianto never asked. He did however ask Gwen about it later, and she explained how Jack and Estelle had been together and gotten separated by the war. By the time Gwen explained all this to Ianto, they were both aware of Jack's immortality and Gwen complained how Jack had kept deceiving Estelle all this time by pretending to be his own son, simply because he didn't have the balls to tell Estelle the truth. Ianto disagreed. He knew how hard it was for Jack to lose people, while he neither aged nor permanently died himself.

Last time Gwen had gone with Jack, and Ianto excepted that to happen now too, but to his surprise, something had obviously changed enough to affect Jack's decision.

"So, she gives presentations on these things?" Ianto asked as he and Jack walked towards the building where Estelle was having her little photograph display.

"Kind of, yeah," Jack answered absently and opened the door for him. He eyed Ianto as they made their way inside. "But shouldn't you know all this already?"

"I wasn't here last time, Gwen was," he replied curtly and got a sharp glance in response. He shrugged. "I think it has something to do with the fact that she knew the truth about you."

_You trusted her more than me, and for a good reason_, went unsaid.

"Well, you're here now," Jack said and put his hand on the small of Ianto's back, guiding him through a doorway. It made Ianto's heart flutter. Jack trusted him enough to work with him, even after though he hadn't been exactly open about Lisa. Maybe he had done something right this time around after all.

"...I suppose, I'm one of the fortunate few who's been allowed to see our little friends," Estelle's voice rang through the auditorium. Jack waved at her and she smiled. "And it's been no easy task. One needs to have the patience of a saint, and the blind faith of a prophet. But for me, the long wait has been worthwhile."

It felt weird seeing her so... alive. Ianto had never gotten the chance to talk to Estelle. He hadn't even paid that much attention to her, and only later recognized the pain in Jack's eyes afterwards as the pain of losing someone very dear to you. He realized now how important Estelle had been to Jack. Ianto glanced at him. Jack clung to her more and more desperately as she got older, all the while trying his best to stay away and save himself from further heartbreak.

Jack noticed his gaze and smiled. He managed to smile back.

Estelle changed the photograph. "This is my first picture," she said and motioned towards the screen. "Not that clear, I know, but the ring of stones can be seen quite distinctly. Well, of course, I'm not the world's best photographer." He could see Jack smiling from the corner of his eye, and it broke his heart. "But this little person is just about visible. I was so lucky to have seen them, so privileged to witness such a magical moment. Because fairies are shy, you see. But I know in my heart that they're friendly, loving creatures." She turned the projector off. "Thank you."

Ianto turned to look at Jack, and the smile was gone, his face turning serious. "Wrong," he whispered. "She always gets it wrong."

The crowd slowly disappeared and Estelle was left sorting through her papers and photographs. Jack approached her with Ianto in tow. "Estelle, this is my colleague, Ianto Jones. Ianto Jones, meet Estelle Cole."

If Estelle noticed how close Jack was standing to Ianto, she didn't mention it. Instead she just smiled at him and shook his hand, and asked what he thought of her little show.

"It was certainly... interesting," he said, hesitating. Luckily, Jack saved him by starting to go through the photos and asking questions, like the professional he was.

"Estelle, when did you take these?" Jack asked.

She looked at him, puzzled. "Couple of nights ago."

Jack's expression hardened. "Where?"

"In Roundstone Wood," she said.

"Not far from here," Ianto pointed out.

"So good to see you again, Jack," Estelle continued and smiled, melting Ianto's heart and obviously doing the same to Jack, whose stony face softens into a smile.

She hands him a picture. "Oh, look, there's the wood."

Jack let out a dramatic sigh, and Ianto raised an eyebrow at the two of them.

"Jack and I have always disagreed about fairies," Estelle explained, noticing his expression. "I only see the good ones. He only ever sees the bad."

"They're all bad," Jack pushed.

"I refuse to believe that!" Her whole face lit up. "Oh, Jack, if only you had seen them there in the wood. They were happy, they were dancing... The fairy lights were shining!"

Jack smiled at her enthusiasm. Even now, it was clear to see how Jack had so easily fallen in love with her. "Do you have any more photos?"

"Yes, at home..."

"Right," Jack said, smiling charmingly at her. "I need to see them all."

They helped her to carry all of her belongings home, which admittedly wasn't that far away.

"Thank you Jack," Estelle said, smiling. She turned to Ianto and introduced him to the black and white cat. "This is Moses."

Ianto walked over to the feline and crouched down before it, letting it smell his hand and then gently scratching its neck. "Hello," he said quietly. The cat just stared at him with huge eyes and started purring almost silently.

When Ianto stopped petting the cat and got up, Estelle had handed Jack a portfolio. "They're mostly just pictures of the area."

Ianto straightened his suit and was about to join Jack again, when he spotted a curious photograph on top of the mantelpiece. He picked it up to peer at it closer.

"Come on, my darling, it's quite time you went outside, isn't it?" Estelle said to the cat and left the two of them alone in the living room.

"Nice picture," Ianto commented when he was sure Estelle was out of earshot. It was obviously Jack, although to a person who didn't know about Jack's immortality, the old picture made it seem like it could have been his dad, especially since Jack and the man in the photograph looked strikingly similar.

"My dad," Jack answered absently.

Ianto gave him a look, and Jack finally seemed to realize what he'd said.

"You know what I mean," he continued, his gaze sharp. "She doesn't know, and I intend to keep it that way."

It stung, knowing that Estelle was going to die without knowing how much Jack, her Jack, and not some son of her long lost love, still cared about her. It also hurt to know that if the whole incident with the rift hadn't happened, the team might have never ended up knowing about Jack's immortality. Jack certainly wouldn't have told them out of his free will. And why would he have told Ianto either? Jack loved Estelle, yet he never told her. Ianto wouldn't have stood a chance.

"Tell me about her," Ianto asked, ignoring the painful feeling in his chest. "Why did you part?"

Jack hesitated for a moment. "It was war time. I got posted abroad, and she volunteered to work on the land. It just happened that way. We lost touch," Jack simply said and shrugged it off. Ianto put the picture down and touched his shoulder gently. He didn't say anything. What could he have possibly have said to that? He didn't have any words. And Jack understood that.

Few minutes later, while Jack was still going through the portfolio, Ianto found Estelle in the garden. "Estelle, I have something..." he started saying, then stumbled on his words. "I need to tell you something important."

She looked up at him, smiling. "Yes?"

"These fairies..." Ianto said, tasting the words. "They're not completely bad like Jack thinks. But they're not completely good either. They're grey, much like rest of the nature on earth."

"What do you mean?" she asked, confused.

Ianto frowned, trying to explain. "It's not simple matter of light and dark, they're more of a gray area. I just want you to be careful," he said, his face softening. "Don't approach them, they're not friendly to strangers."

Before Estelle could answer, Jack came through the back door and approached her. "Estelle, when you next see these creatures, you call us immediately. Understand?" She nodded. "Night or day, it doesn't matter, just call us. And be careful, it's important."

She let out a laugh. "But Jack, I've got nothing to be careful about." Ianto sighed. She was going to be stubborn about this, wasn't she?

Jack hugged her. "Just be careful," he pleaded and kissed her forehead. Ianto could feel his face crumbling slightly at the sight of the two of them. Jack loved her so much. "Please."

"Estelle shouldn't be living in town," Jack said as they left her house. "She belongs to the countryside."

"How often do you see her?" Ianto asked, bit hesitant.

Jack glanced at him. "We meet up now and again."

He didn't have anything to say to that. "You know she's in danger, don't you?" he asked after a while. "Those 'fairies'... They won't appreciate her snooping around."

Jack stiffened and stopped, staring at him. "She calls them fairies, I don't. I know they are dangerous, Ianto," he said. "They're like nothing we've ever dealt before. They're not alien, they're part of us, part of our world, yet we know nothing about them. So we pretend to know what they look like. We see them as happy. We imagine they have tiny little wings and are bathed in moonlight."

Ianto kept silent.

"But in reality..." Jack continued, not even pretending to seem unconcerned anymore, his face intense and his eyes boring into Ianto's. "Think something you can only half see like a glimpse, like something out of the corner of your eye with a touch of myth, a touch of the spirit world, a touch of reality, all jumbled together. Old moments and memories that are frozen in amongst it. Like debris spinning around a ringed planet - tossing, turning, _whirling_. Backwards and forwards through time." He turned to glance back at Estelle's house. "If that's them we have to find them ... before all hell breaks loose."

Jack started walking swiftly again, and Ianto stared at his back, his heart thudding like he'd just ran a marathon. This one was not going to be easy.


	17. Shot through the heart and

**A/N: **Sorry it's been such a long time since I updated. I haven't heard back from my beta reader in a while, I hope she's all right.

Reviews make me very, very happy.

**Disclaimer:** Torchwood belongs to BBC.

**Warnings? **This is about Torchwood. There will always be slash.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 16: Shot through the heart, and you're to blame<strong>

Jack had ordered everyone to research the fairies while they were meeting Estelle so when Ianto and Jack returned the whole team was called to the conference room. Ianto made his usual way around handing out coffee. He was still trying to think of a way to save Estelle and only half paying attention to the discussion.

"This is the youngest girl and the girl's cousin," Tosh explained gesturing to one of the pictures of the Cottingley fairies.

Ianto handed Jack his coffee and glanced at the picture, which depicted small fairies dancing next to a young girl. "I blame it on magic mushrooms," he deadpanned.

"What you do in private is none of our business," Jack quipped raising an eyebrow, all the while smiling suggestively. Ianto could feel the corner of his lip twitching upwards.

"These photographs were fake," Gwen pointed out. She obviously didn't believe this could be a real, serious case.

Owen leaned against a table and shrugged. "Conan Doyle believed in them."

"He was gaga at the time," Gwen said and snorted.

Owen raised an eyebrow at that and accepted his mug from Ianto. "And Houdini?"

"Self-publicist."

Jack stared intensively at Gwen and asked the question they all were thinking about. "How do you know so much about it?"

"Because I wrote an essay on the Cottingley glass-plate photographs when I was at school," explained Gwen making Owen roll his eyes. "And when the girls where old ladies, they admitted they were fakes."

Ianto sat down next to Jack, having finished his coffee round. He didn't remember this conversation. He must have gone to do something else while the others discussed the photos.

"So, where was this sighted then?" Tosh asked as one of Estelle's pictures came up.

"In a place called Roundstone Wood," Jack stated clearly and narrowed his eyes at Gwen who still looked dubious.

"I know the place, has an odd history," Owen mused. Ianto glanced at him in surprise. He hadn't gathered Owen for a local history enthusiast.

"What do you mean, odd?" Jack asked just as Ianto was opening his mouth do ask the same question.

"It's always stayed wild," Owen continued frowning. "In the ancient times it was considered bad luck to walk in there, even to collect timber. Even the Romans stayed clear of it."

"I've had no report of any sighting." Tosh looked upset.

"You won't, these things come under the radar," Jack said. "But they play tricks with the weather, so set up an programme for unusual weather patterns."

Tosh nodded and got to work. Gwen still looked skeptic. "Are you saying our machines can't pick them up?"

Jack shook his head. "Nothing can."

Soon Gwen, Jack and Owen had left to check out the location where Estelle had taken the pictures, leaving Ianto and Tosh alone at the Hub. The silence lasted for whole five minutes. Obviously he hadn't been subtle enough with Jack, because Tosh rolled her chair next to Ianto, kept glancing at him and then cleared her throat.

"So... You and Jack, then?"

Ianto stared at her and could feel himself blushing slightly. "It's that obvious?"

"Well, I thought Jack would still be angry at you," Toshiko started hesitantly. "After your suspension. But instead you seem to be getting on well, maybe even better than before it."

Ianto bit the inside of his cheek. He couldn't tell Tosh the truth yet even though he desperately wanted to. "Something... changed," he said. "It happened even before my suspension. I think that's why Jack still trusts me," he wondered out loud. He wouldn't have blamed Jack if he'd lost his trust in Ianto just like the first time around. After all, he hadn't immediately told Jack about Lisa. He'd kept an obvious security threat inside the hub for weeks.

"You don't have to tell me," Tosh said quietly, looking away. "It's clearly personal."

"It's okay," Ianto breathed out. "I just can't speak about it right now. But, umm, maybe I will some day," he continued and smiled at her. "I still haven't taken you up on that Bondathon."

Toshiko smiled back.

* * *

><p>By the time the rest of the team returned Toshiko had completed the weather programme. But Ianto didn't get a chance to speak with Jack in private, because it didn't take long until he was gone again, this time swapping Owen with Tosh. The team went out to inspect a death at the local police station.<p>

Owen didn't even last five minutes, he just watched Ianto for a while before he spoke. "So you're finally shagging Jack, then." It wasn't a question.

Ianto raised an eyebrow. "Maybe."

Owen rolled his eyes. "It seems clear to me. His eyes kept wandering towards your arse while you served coffee."

Ianto hoped to god he wasn't blushing. What was today, embarrass the coffee boy day? He cleared his throat. "What about you and Gwen?"

Owen stared at him blankly and sipped his coffee. "Huh?"

"Are you..." Ianto made a gesture. "You know."

Owen spit out his coffee. Great, guess who was going to clean that up. "Woah, woah!" he said, and putting the coffee mug on a table. "No! … Why?" He thought about it, then made a face. "No!"

Ianto could feel his eyebrows rising. "Really?"

"No!" Owen repeated. "Why would you even think...? Doesn't Gwen have a boyfriend?"

"She does," Ianto admitted. "But it didn't stop the two of you last time."

"Last time?" Owen blinked. "What do you mean, 'last time'?"

"Last time, the first time around," Ianto explained slowly, "You two were having an affair, even though Gwen had Rhys. It didn't seem to bother you two."

"Really?"

He just nodded, not interested in elaborating. "I was hoping to stop you this time, but I got distracted by Lisa," he admitted, feeling bit guilty.

"Well," Owen said after a while. "I was distracted enough by your ridiculous claims of time travel to even think about doing anything else."

Ianto turned to look at him, his jaw dropping. "You were?"

Owen didn't look at him. "I seriously thought there was something wrong with you!" he snarled out. "Can you blame me?"

Ianto just huffed at him and left, deep in thought. Just his presence had caused the absence of Owen and Gwen's affair. Maybe he really could change things.

He walked towards the kitchen out of Owen's hearing range and took out his mobile. Ianto really needed to speak to Jack. He'd been thinking about this for a long time, and he was sure all of this would go much better if he could just save Estelle.

"Jack," Ianto said into the phone as the man picked up. "I feel like someone should be staying with Estelle just in case those things are going to show up again."

Jack was silent for a moment, before he let out a sight. "_Yeah, I think you're right_," he said. "_We're at the station. A man was suffocated, I'm sure it was them._"

"Do you want me to go?" Ianto asked. _Please say yes_. "There's nothing to do here."

He could almost hear Jack thinking it over, "_Yes. Don't let those things near her._"

Ianto nodded, before realizing Jack wouldn't see it, then answered. "Yes, sir."

* * *

><p>It didn't take long to reach Estelle's house. She looked surprised to see him. "Jack sent me over," Ianto explained, tightening his hold on his overnight bag and shifting his weight. "He was worried and said it would really make him feel better to know that you're not alone right now."<p>

Estelle smiled, shook her head and opened the door wider. "Jack worries so much," she said. "Just like his father. Please, come inside, I'll make you a nice cup of tea."

"Oh," Ianto said. "You shouldn't bother, I could make some for both of us. It's my area, really."

"What did you say you did for a living again?" Estelle asked as he lowered his bag on the sofa. The cat wasn't anywhere to be seen.

He looked up at her question. "Special ops," he lied smoothly and smiled. "Jack has a whole team under his control. I mainly push some papers and make tea for everyone."

"That certainly sounds interesting," she said.

Ianto smiled again, but then his smile faded as he noticed some crystals on the table, surrounded by a few candles. "What's this then?" he asked, squatting down to take a closer look at the gems.

"That's Quartzite. The searching stone," Estelle explained, "I was just doing a little spell to allow me to find the fairies again."

Ianto's eyes widened. "What?" he asked. "Did you have time to complete it?"

"Yes, I finished just as you rang the doorbell."

Suddenly Ianto could _feel_ it. Someone, no, _something_ was watching them. He heard a sound, like fluttering of wings from the kitchen. Estelle and Ianto exchanged glances and tip toed towards the kitchen to take a look, Ianto in the lead and Estelle following.

They froze in front of the window where they could see an eerie pair of eyes staring at them from the bushes. "Estelle," Ianto whispered, "Slowly, back away from the window."

Just as Estelle started to move, the thingcrashed through the window, completely shattering the glass. They both were forced to throw their hands up to shield their eyes.

The silence returned.

Ianto glanced around and looked at Estelle. "Are you hurt?" he asked quickly. He couldn't see any blood, but that didn't mean anything.

Estelle opened her eyes slowly and Ianto could see how scared she was. "No, I'm fine," she said quietly, her hand on her chest. "Is it gone?"

Ianto glanced around. He couldn't hear anything. "Looks like it. We better call Jack. I don't think it's safe for you to stay here."

Estelle nodded. "I'm such a fool," she said quietly, covering her mouth with her hand. "I should have listened to Jack, he was right."

"Don't worry," Ianto said and touched her shoulder. "I'll call him, he'll just be glad you're okay."

He did indeed call Jack, who sounded furious as he yelled an order for them to stay put and wait for back up. Ianto agreed and told him they'd stay inside. Preferably in a room with no windows.

He had just finished making the promised cups of tea, and was walking back into the living room, when he heard Estelle calling for the cat. "Moses? You silly cat..."

He fastened his steps and looked in horror as Estelle stepped outside. The mugs dropped on the floor as he sprinted toward the door. But he was too late. The glass door slammed shut before his face and Estelle whirled around, terror in her eyes. "Ianto!"

"Estelle!" he yelled, trying to wrench the door open. It wouldn't budge. Rain started to fall and Estelle slowly backed away from the door, wind pushing her around like she was in the middle of a thunderstorm. "No! Estelle!" he screamed. This couldn't be happening.

Ianto looked around for something to bash the glass door in with, and picked up a chair, hitting the window pane with it as hard as he could. He could feel the tremors all the way in his bones, but nothing happened to the window. It had turned unbreakable.

"No," he repeated and kept hitting at the glass as he saw Estelle fall down. He could feel rain on his face, dripping down his cheeks. "No!"

Ianto's legs gave out and he collapsed on the floor, leaning against the glass doors, his hand clawing at the window. He let out a sob. He couldn't do anything. He hadn't changed a thing. Maybe this was it, he wondered. A sign that he couldn't change anything, and if he tried, it would become even worse. Estelle stopped moving. Seconds later the rain stopped like it had never happened.

The door clicked open. Ianto didn't move.

He couldn't change anything. Owen would die, twice. Tosh would die, too. And he would be unable to do anything about it.

He heard a car speeding and the breaks squeaking. Then came the hurried foot steps and the anguished yells of Jack. Ianto absently wondered if Jack hated him now. He certainly deserved it.

He distantly heard someone speaking to him. It sounded like Tosh, but he wasn't sure. Then strong hands gripped his shoulders and marched him over to the couch. "Watch out for the shards," Owen ordered.

"Where's the cat?" he croaked out as he was sat down.

Owen looked at him oddly. "What cat?"

His mouth felt numb. "She went outside to get the cat."

"Oi! Tosh!" Owen whispered and Toshiko's head peeked out from the kitchen. "Have you seen a cat?"

"Cat?"

"Ianto says there's a cat."

His head felt like it was stuffed with wool. "His name is Moses," he muttered.

The cat must have heard him, because ten seconds later, the three of them saw the black and white cat slinking through the class doors and hopping on the sofa next to Ianto. It meowed at him and pushed its way to sit on his lap. He stared at it blankly, idly wondering what would happen to it. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't remember what they did with it last time.

When Ianto could form coherent thoughts again, he realized he was sitting on the sofa in the Hub, clutching Moses to his chest like a cat plushie. There was a blanket on his shoulders. Moses meowed, and he let the cat go. It curiously stepped away to look at the new surroundings.

Ianto struggled upward, blinking rapidly and looked around. He didn't remember the journey to the Hub at all. That was probably bad, but he didn't want to think about it.

"Ianto," Jack said, face stony, peeking from the doorway. "My office?"

Ianto just nodded mutely and did as he was told. He slumped down on a chair before Jack's desk and stared blankly at him until he talked.

"Mind explaining what the hell happened?" Jack's sharp voice cut its way like a knife through Ianto's heart.

"I don't know," he said. His body felt like it was working on autopilot.

Jack crossed his arms, leaning against his desk. There was a finished glass of brandy on his desk. Ianto wondered how much he'd been drinking. Didn't really matter though, did it. He couldn't get drunk. "Are you saying you didn't know this would happen?"

"I did know." Ianto shifted in his chair. "However, we never knew the details. I thought that after the first attack, they left, that I had changed it... But the cat was outside, and Estelle went to get it. The door closed. It didn't open."

Jack narrowed his eyes.

"I was making tea," Ianto admitted. "The door closed just before I reached it. The glass wouldn't break, I couldn't..." his voice broke off.

"You knew she would die, Ianto!" Jack barked and Ianto flinched. "Why the hell didn't you tell me?!"

He couldn't look at Jack. "I didn't..." he swallowed. "I thought if I could change it, you wouldn't need to know."

Jack's face was stony, and the look sent shivers down Ianto's spine. "You can leave." It wasn't a request.

Ianto wrestled himself to a standing position, even though his knees felt like they were going to betray him any moment. He had just made the biggest and stupidest mistake of his life. Somehow he managed to get out of Jack's office, find Moses and drive them both to his apartment without breaking down. When home, he slumped down onto his sofa and stared at the ceiling until his eyes closed from exhaustion and he fell asleep.


	18. Fairydust

**Disclaimer:** Torchwood belongs to BBC.

**Warnings? **This is fanfiction about Torchwood. There will always be slash.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 17: Fairydust<strong>

Next morning Ianto woke up to the tune of _Barbie Girl_. His phone was ringing and he could guess the caller must have been the same person who'd changed his ring tone. He reached for the ringing phone and groaned at the caller ID. He had three missed calls from...

"Owen," he grumbled the greeting into the mobile and slumped back onto his bed.

"What the hell, future boy!" Owen yelled. "Where did you disappear last night? I thought we'd have to fish you out of a river. I swear, I can't even leave you alone for ten minutes without you disappearing off the face of the fucking earth!"

Ianto groaned again and rubbed his eyes. "I just went home after Jack finished yelling at me," he explained and then realised what he'd just said. He sat up. "Oh god, Jack. Is he okay?"

"Oh shut your... gay mouth," Owen snarled, clearly running out of ways to insult Ianto for being an idiot. "That bloody idiot should've known not to let you leave. I explicitly told him to keep an eye on you, and what did he do? Told you to leave!"

"He didn't tell me to leave, he just... Strongly suggested it."

"Oh that bastard-", Owen started, but Ianto cut him off.

"I wouldn't have wanted to see me either," he said. "I knew Estel was going to die, Owen. I knew but I didn't tell him. At least he'd been able to say goodbye."

"Ianto..."

"But no, I had to be stupid and try to save her by myself. I couldn't even do that, what good am I for?"

There was a silence, then a deep sigh. "You know it's not your fault. Now stop being such a girl, get up and come to work."

Despite his dark thoughts, Ianto couldn't help but smile.

"Some of those fairies have been to Gwen's apartment, Jack's there now," Owen said and Ianto's smile disappeared. He hadn't remembered that part. Hopefully Gwen wasn't too shaken up about it.

"And don't think we're done here, future boy, we're gonna discuss this later," Owen said, his tone as threatening as always. He hung up.

Ianto looked at the phone screen and let out a sigh. "Right."

Ianto arrived at the Hub an hour later, fresh and ready to face whatever Jack was going to throw at him that day. He made his usual coffee round around the team (Owen even made that weird "watching you" gesture with his fingers when he received his coffee) and then took the last cup to Jack's office. He really didn't want to fight with Jack, but he understood why Jack was so angry. Ianto should've told him about Estelle and he knew it. Last night he had felt awful. He had wanted nothing more but fall asleep in Jack's arms, loved and reassured that it hadn't been his fault. But now he just felt responsible for Estelle's death. He hadn't even given Jack a chance to say goodbye.

He squared his shoulders, knocked on the doorway and stepped inside. "Good morning, sir."

Jack looked up from his desk, his eyes wide. He looked tired as he mumbled a greeting, his face shifting into a neutral expression.

Ianto placed Jack's usual cup of coffee on his desk and slipped the black metal tray under his arm. "Your coffee, sir," he said.

Jack took his coffee and didn't meet Iantos eye. But as Ianto turned and was about to leave, he called out: "Ianto..."

Ianto turned and focused on the wall behind Jack's shoulder. "Sir?"

"Let Owen and Gwen know I need their reports on my desk by Monday," Jack said. His knuckles were white from gripping the cup in his hands. He glanced up for a moment, expression still as stony as few seconds ago. "That's all."

Ianto couldn't help but feel a little dissappointed. He nodded. "Of course, sir.

He left Jack's office swiftly, a terrible feeling deep in his gut, and headed to the kitchen to get himself a good cup of coffee too. He was going to need it.

* * *

><p>Twenty minutes later Owen came in and ushered him into the kitchen corner, his face serious as he looked around, making sure nobody was listening to them.<p>

"Jack wants that report on his desk by Monday," Ianto greeted him and raised an eyebrow.

"I don't give a fuck about Jack and his reports," Owen said and narrowed his eyes. "Don't try to change the subject."

Ianto just stared at him. "I'm not changing the subject," he said. "We're weren't even talking. Therefore, it was impossible for me to change the subject to something else from the subject of our non-existent discussion."

Owen rolled his eyes."All right, what is going on with you, Ianto?" he asked, crossing his arms. "Don't think I don't know about that panic attack you had before your suspension."

Owen knew about that?

Ianto grimaced. "It was nothing."

"Are you sure?" Owen drilled, "It didn't look like nothing. And last night, you were almost catonic for an hour, heck, Ianto..." he trailed off and grit his teeth together for a while before hardening his resolve and looking Ianto straight in his eye. "I know I'm not the most approachable person here, but if you need to talk, mate, you need to know I will listen."

Ianto blinked. That certainly wasn't what he was expecting.

"I know, Owen," he said. He suddenly felt an odd, warm feeling inside of his chest. "You're a snarky bastard but you do actually care. I know that."

Owen's face looked equally surprised and embarrassed. "It's just... We didn't exactly begin on the best foot so I thought..."

Ianto raised an eyebrow. "I've known you longer than you've known me, remember?"

Owen nodded, looking weirdly relieved at the idea. "Right," he said and coughed. "Just don't bother me with details of your love life, I couldn't care less."

Ianto rolled his eyes. "I know, Owen, don't worry."

"Just, we can go for a pint or something, if you want," Owen continued, now avoiding his gaze. "Talk about all this crazy alien shit."

"Yeah," Ianto said and really smiled for the first time in a while. "Sounds good."

* * *

><p>The investigation continued despite Gwen's flat being broken into, and they finally reached a conclusion. The fairies were after the next chosen one. And as the weird weather pattern appeared again that afternoon, they figured out that the kid must've been enrolled in a primary school the weather pattern was happening over.<p>

They all hopped into the SUV, but when they were about to turn right at a crossroads, Ianto interrupted their chatter. "Jasmin Pierce, age six, Old Forest Road. Sending the address to your GPS, sir."

Owen stared at him. They were lucky Tosh and Gwen had decided to take the another SUV.

"Right," Jack said and send the address to Tosh and Gwen. He turned left. "Let's go."

There was some kind of a party going on at the girl's house. They parked both cars on the driveway and stepped out just in time to hear the screams.

"Get out of here!" Jack yelled at every person that ran past them. Ianto helped an old lady with her cane to get out of the crowds way, while Toshiko held the mother and stopped her from running to her husband who was being murdered by the fairies. Ianto cringed at the sight. There was nothing he could do.

From the corner of his eye he saw one of them approach Jack.

"Jack!" he yelled out as he saw one of them sticking its fist through Jack's chest. He ran to him and was there just in time to hold him as he gasped back into life. He'd seen Jack die countless of times, but he didn't like it one bit. It seemed like nothing could stop these creatures... Not even Jack.

Ianto helped Jack up as the fairies left the garden. Jasmine followed them through a hole in the fence, and Jack ran after her. Gwen and Ianto followed, all the while hearing her mother's anguished cries in the background.

"Do you know you walk in a forest?" the girl asked them and turned around. "You are. It looks like a very old forest. And it's magical. I want to stay in it."

Jack frowned. "You can see this forest?"

"Yes."

"It's not here. It's just an illusion, Jasmin," he said gently. The girl shook her head. Jack took a step towards her. "It is. Your friends are just playing a game with you," he said and looked around, speaking to the fairies on the treetops. "The real forest can never come back!"

"Oh, it can," the girl answered. "When they take me to it."

Gwen knelt down to look at her face. "They told you this?" Jasmine nodded. "But what about your mother, don't you want to stay with her?" She shook her head.

The fluttering sounds became louder and Gwen took a step back in alarm.

"The child isn't sure!" Jack yelled out.

"I am sure!"

"Leave her alone. Find another chosen one!" Jack said through gritted teeth.

_Too late. She belongs with us..._

"The child belongs here!"

_No... She lives forever..._

"Supposed we make her stay with us?" Jack said. Ianto's eyes widened. What was he doing?

"Then a lot of people will die!" Jasmine yelled.

"They tell you that?" Gwen asked.

The girl frowned. "They promised."

_Come away o human child... Come away..._

"Next they're going to kill everyone at my school," she said to Gwen. "Like they killed Roy, and that man, and your friend!" Ianto felt a surge of anger at the mention of Jack's death.

Gwen looked stricken. "How do you know these things?"

"If they want to, they can make great storms and wild seas, turn the world to ice! Kill every living thing!" she yelled. "Let me go."

Ianto could only stand there and watch the grief on Jack's face as he made his decision. Ianto felt just as hopeless. There was no other choice. "The child won't be harmed?"

Gwen's eyes widened in alarm. "Jack, you can't..."

"Answer me!" he yelled. "She won't be harmed?"

_We told you... She lives forever..._

"A dead world," Jasmine clarified, "Is that what you want?"

Jack kneeled down before her and shook her. "What good is that to you? There won't be no more chosen ones!"

"_They'll find us... Back in time_," she said, her voice now sounding eerily like the fairies.

Jack briefly touched her face and let go. He looked at the ground. "Take her."

"Jack!" Gwen yelled and tried to catch Jasmine. Ianto grabbed her and held her back. "No!"

Jack turned towards them, his face anguished yet angry. "Ask me what chance we have against them, for the sake of the world," he cried out. "This is our only chance!"

Gwen wrenched herself away from Ianto, her expression betrayed and disappointed.

The girl turned around one last time._"Thank you." _

She smiled and disappeared.

Her mother arrived just in time to see Jasmine fade away into fairydust. She yelled and begged, and ended up attacking Jack, who didn't even try to defend his decision, just hugged her and kept telling how sorry he was.

As they walked back to the SUV's afterwards, something strange happened.

There was a flutter of wings and then... a voice.

_Ianto Jones..._

Ianto stopped and looked around, startled.

_You've also been chosen by –..._

"Ianto," Owen asked coming to stand next to him. "You all right, mate?"

Ianto shook his head. He must've been more tired than he thought. "Yeah, sorry. Let's go."

* * *

><p>The team pretty much gave Jack the cold shoulder for the rest of the day. Ianto understood why, but he didn't support their decision. He knew Jack didn't have a way of stopping the fairies, or whatever they called themselves. It was like with Estel, some things just couldn't be changed...<p>

He spotted a light on in Jack's office after all the others were long gone. Ianto didn't have coffee with him this time as he climbed up the stairs and knocked at the doorway. Jack didn't answer, but that didn't stop Ianto from stepping inside.

Jack was nursing a glass whiskey. On the table was one of his most expensive bottles. He looked up as Ianto came in, his expression as stony as it had been that morning.

"Jack," Ianto said soflty, stepping forward.

"Came here to gloat, did you?" Jack barked out. "Want to say 'I told you so' now? I just sent a little girl to her death, or even worse, immortality, with her mother watching at the sidelines!"

Ianto slowly took steps to get closer. "Jack..."

Jack didn't notice. He gulped down another sip of his whiskey. "How is it so fucking hard for you people understand I can't let the world get destroyed just to save a little girl?"

Ianto took the glass away from him and set it on the desk. He gently touched Jack's jaw and turned Jack's gaze to meet his. "You did the right thing."

Jack's expression crumbled so quickly that it startled him. The sadness etched on his face made Ianto's heart ache.

"Oh, Ianto," he muttered and sighed, his eyes glistening. "You must think I'm such an idiot..."

Ianto dragged a chair next to Jack's and sat down. He took Jack's hand in his and squeezed it gently. "My opinion about you hasn't changed," Ianto said. "You're brave, handsome, and to be honest, I've always thought you were a bit of an idiot."

Jack laughed, and leaned forward to kiss Ianto. It was sweet and short, and it made Ianto feel at home. They leaned on each other, their foreheads touching.

After few minutes Jack smirked. "Handsome, huh?"

"Stop pretending you didn't know," Ianto deadpanned. "We've had smoking hot gay sex several times, I thought my attraction to you was given."

Jack let out another laugh and leaned away from him slowly. His face got all serious again. "I don't think the others agree with you."

Ianto smirked. "Owen knows it but will never admit it," he said. Jack's mouth curved up a little, but his expression stayed serious. "Jack, give them time. They will realise it was your only choice. They all respect and look up to you, that isn't going to change just because of this."

"They all hate me," Jack said and sighed.

"They hate your decision, there's a difference," Ianto explained, frowning. "Even though they might not recognise it themselves."

Jack groaned and leaned forward for another kiss. This time it was hot and lingering. "When did you get so wise?" he breathed out.

"Time travel does that to you," Ianto said and kissed him again. When they seperated, Ianto frowned. "Wait... Are you saying you thought I wasn't wise before?"

Jack's booming laugh echoed through the hub.

"Silly Ianto," he said and gently touched Ianto's neck. "I think it's time we go to bed." Then he stopped, uncertain. "I mean... We're okay, right?"

Ianto shut him up with a kiss. "Silly Jack," he parroted and got up from his chair. "Of course we are. I think you're getting tired, maybe you need some sleep too." He took a few steps towards Jack's bunker, still holding his hand.

Jack followed him and grinned. "Who said anything about sleeping?"


	19. Countrycide

**A/N: Still haven't heard anything from my beta reader, so this is largely un-betaed.**

**Disclaimer: **Torchwood belongs to BBC.

**Warnings: **Violence, cannibalism, M/M relationship

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 18: Countrycide<strong>

Ianto was running. He could taste blood in his mouth. His breath was coming out in gasps and huffs and he felt like all the attention he had spent on getting into shape during the last months had been futile. He fumbled with his tied hands, trying to slip out of them, but the knot was too tight. Ianto swore under his breath but kept moving. He had to get to Jack. He had to run. He couldn't let them catch him. If they did, Toshiko would die.

Ianto stumbled on a tree root and almost fell, but as soon as he regained his footing again he was running again. He could hear them coming after him, shouting obscenities and threats into the cold air. Twigs were snapping under his feet and leaves shuffled around on the ground. It was dark, but he could see a small road coming closer and closer, until finally he reached it. To his relief, he ran straight in front of a police car that had been patrolling the area. He let out a sigh of relief. The police car halted to stop as its headlights reached him, and a man dressed in a police uniform stepped out, a torch in his hand.

"You all right, mate?" he asked, looking dubiously at Ianto's bloodied and ragged outfit.

"Please, you have to help me!" Ianto begged. "They're after me!" He struggled with his tied arms, his wrists felt incredibly sore. He felt a blinding jolt of pain as he moved his shoulder. It was probably dislocated.

That's when they came through the woods. Two ragged looking men, both carrying cricket bats, hunting knives tied to their belts. Ianto took a step closer to the police officer and turned around to face them, his face set with grim determination.

"Look what we've got 'ere," the first man chuckled.

"Looks like someone escaped, dunnit?"

The officer shone a light at the two men, and took out his bat. He turned to Ianto. "Don't worry, I can help."

"Untie me first," Ianto said in a hushed whisper, leaning in towards the officer while keeping an eye on the man who seemed to be hesitating. "They're dangerous."

"My own uncles, dangerous? What a joke! "

Ianto slowly turned, his eyes widening. "Uncles...?"

He barely saw the hit coming. His world went black and when he woke up, he was being dragged inside the town hall. He could barely breathe, and as he tried to shout he realised he'd been gagged. As they dumped him on the floor, he looked around. He couldn't see Toshiko anywhere, but noticed the shape of another person sitting where she had been lying before.

"You didn't change a thing," the person croaked out. Ianto's head was still spinning as he took in the mans appearance. The man's face was bloody. He had a split lip and a black eye, and he was holding his arm in front of his chest, probably nursing a cracked a rib. He was dressed up a white shirt and pale jeans... As he focused on the mans face, Ianto realised he was staring at himself.

"Tosh is dead," Ianto Jones spat out. "And it's your fault!"

He woke up with a gasp. He lay there just breathing for a moment, making sure he was really awake and not having another dream. He could hear Jack mumble something in his sleep, so he sat up and shook his shoulder.

"Jack!" Ianto whispered urgently. "Jack!"

"Mmhh," Jack mumbled as he tried to get properly awake. He blinked. "Ianto?"

"I just remembered something important," Ianto said and swallowed. "I think you should hear this."

Jack sat up and looked a bit more awake now. "What is it?"

Ianto bit his lip. He didn't know how to explain... Where to even start? "Do you know if people have people been disappearing in Brecon Beacons lately?" he asked.

Jack blinked again few times. "Brecon Beacons?" he mused. "Yeah. I was going to assign it as our next case if the police found out nothing by next week."

Ianto groaned and covered his face. "Shit."

"Ianto?" Jask asked and put a hesitant hand on his shoulder.

"I didn't remember about it... I didn't want to remember. I had nightmares about it for weeks..." Ianto mumbled through his fingers and groaned. He dropped down his hands and looked at Jack, who was growing intensively more worried. "Those people disappearing in Brecon Beacons..." he said, and Jack nodded him to continue. He swallowed a lump in his throat. "It's cannibals."

"_What?_"

"They're just humans," Ianto clarified and burrowed his face in his hands again. He let out a hollow laugh. "Humans, kidnapping all those people and eating them."

"What happened?" Jack asked, his voice low.

They sat in silence for a moment.

"We went there to investigate," Ianto whispered finally. "The whole team. We were almost having fun, camping out like that. Of course Owen hated every second of it," he laughed.

Even Jack huffed out a small laugh.

"I forgot to take the SUV keys with me, and while we were investigating something in the forest, someone took the car and drove it to a nearby village. We followed the car and split up. I went with Toshiko, and..." He took in a ragged breath.

Jack rubbed his shoulder gently. "It's okay."

"We walked around this house and we heard noises," he shut his eyes. "I turned around and Toshiko was gone. I tried searching for her, and someone must have hit me on my head, because the next thing I knew I was waking up in this dark room. There was meat hooks hanging from the ceiling and...We saw a shoe on the floor, then more... God, there must have been at least twenty pairs of them," he shuddered. "And then we looked inside the fridge... It was..."

Jack let out an strange noise and Ianto looked at him. He looked angry. Ianto understood his feelings perfectly well. It took a moment before he could continue again.

"This woman came to the door, pointing a gun at us. She told us she was a prisoner too, that they were making her to do this," Ianto explained. "She looked so scared that we believed her. We tried asking her what they looked like... We all thought they must have been aliens. We had no idea what we'd walked into."

Jack seemed to be holding his breath. "And then?"

"She escorted us into a large room that looked like a butchery. We could see meat, some kind of flesh hung from the ceiling all over the place... Then they came, and explained. It was their _harvest_." He shuddered. "Toshiko managed to escape, but they caught her again, and this time they had Owen and Gwen too. Apparently even the police at that town were involved. You found out about it yourself and came to rescue us, just in time..."

"What did I do?" Jack asked, his face dark.

"You shot all of them, but you aimed so that they didn't die," Ianto explained. Jack squeezed his shoulder again. "You wanted all of them to be taken responsible for their actions... And then, later, Gwen just had to ask why they were doing it." He shuddered again. "The leader said, 'Because it's fun.'"

Jack cursed under his breath and pulled him into a hug. Ianto burrowed his face to Jack's warm chest and just stayed there for a moment.

"I'm sorry Ianto," Jack said. "I'll let the police know we have evidence to suspect there's something weird going on at that village. We'll catch those bastards before anyone else goes missing."

"It's not your fault," Ianto said and rubbed his eyes. "I should've remembered it earlier. But I guess I didn't want to... I almost died, I guess part of me was trying its best to repress those memories."

"Owen needs to know about this," Jack said, his voice holding no room for arguments.

Ianto groaned and slumped forward to lean against Jack. "Does he really? It's been over two years... I don't want to talk about it."

"He's your doctor, Ianto," Jack said and gently brushed his fingers through Ianto's hair. Ianto hummed. "We'll tell him when he gets here and you can talk it out between yourselves."

"All right," Ianto said and sighed. Owen was going to really go for the blood this time, he seemed to dislike when Ianto kept things a secret.

And he wasn't wrong. Jack called the police and explained their suspicions about the town people, and afterward they called Owen into Jack's office. As they had recapped the situation for him, he narrowed his eyes at Ianto and stepped into his personal space.

"Do you have PTSD?"

Ianto spluttered. "What? No!"

"Are you sure?" Owen leaned forward to look him in the eye.

"I am!" he whisper-shouted. "And even if I ever did, it's been over two years since it happened, I haven't even had any nightmares about it until now!"

"You had a nightmare?" Jack and Owen asked at the same time. Jack raised an eyebrow at Owen, who just huffed.

"That could be a sign of regressed memories," Owen muttered. "You say you didn't even remember this case was going to happen until now?"

"I didn't," Ianto said hesitantly. "I wrote out some cases I remembered into one of my journals but this one didn't even cross my mind at the time."

"That sounds suspicious to me," Owen said. "You tell me if you have any more of those nightmares, all right?"

Ianto rolled his eyes. "I will."

"And now, are you sure you don't need to talk about this with..." Owen lowered his voice. "With a professional?"

"Owen!" he groaned. "I'm sure. And what would I even talk about?" he said. "Those events never actually happened in this timeline. If this _professional_ happened to check my records, they'd think I'm either talking complete bullshit or just wrong in the head."

Owen hesitated for a moment, before looking away and scratching his neck. "Well how about that pint later tonight?"

Ianto blinked. Oh. He had forgotten about that. "Sure, why not."

Owen mumbled an excuse and left swiftly. Ianto realised why as he turned to look at Jack whose jaw was hanging open.

Ianto tilted his head. "Jack?"

"Did he seriously just ask you out?" Jack asked, his eyes wide. "Our resident, Mr-Incredibly-Straight Doctor Harper asked you out for a drink?"

"It's just a pint between friends, Jack," he said, amused. "Are you jealous?"

"Well I'm a bit jealous that he's never tried to hang out with me after hours," Jack admitted, but grinned as Ianto raised his eyebrow. "But I know you don't like him that way so I'll let it pass..." He paused, his brow furrowing. "Unless... He's your special someone?"

Ianto laughed.

And laughed more.

And a little bit more.

By the time he stopped laughing, Jack was beginning to look annoyed.

"Sorry," he breathed out. "That was just too ridiculous."

Although... One of his plans did center around saving Owen. He looked thoughtful for a moment and Jack's jaw dropped down again.

That didn't mean anything though. He loved Owen as a friend, and as their doctor, but he was definitely not the one for Ianto.

"Stop looking at me like that," Ianto said, smirking.

"That's slightly disappointing to be honest," Jack said, his eyebrows raised. "I was hoping you could persuade Owen to join us for a threesome."

"I swear, I have no desire to have sex with Owen," Ianto said and crossed his arms. "I suggest you also let that thought go or Owen will find out and kill you, even if he's completely oblivious to your immortality."

"He would, wouldn't he?" Jack asked and pouted. Ianto just laughed.

Later that day, before Ianto was leaving to his flat mostly to get a fresh change of clothes, Jack cornered him in the hallway. Ianto recognised the heated expression on his face and put his hands up. "I seriously need to go to my flat today. I need to change out of these clothes and Moses needs to be fed."

Jack stepped closer and grabbed Ianto's backside with his left hand. "You could just walk around naked, I wouldn't mind," he purred into his ear.

"Seriously, Jack," Ianto said, amused and not to mention a little bit turned on.

Jack stepped back a little and his right hand started playing with Ianto's tie. "Are you really taking care of Moses?"

Ianto wanted to groan at the speed Jack's mind changed the subject. He nodded. "Yeah, that's why I need to go to my flat, _today_."

"Hmm," Jack mused. "I guess I could let you go..."

Ianto sighed. "I could give you the keys to my flat if that would make you feel better."

Jack's hands froze.

"I'm not getting all relationshippy on you Jack," Ianto said quickly, bit amused at the position Jack had frozen into. "I just thought maybe you'd like to come see Moses sometimes... And to be honest, my bed is a lot bigger than yours."

Jack's left hand squeezed Ianto's bum. "You should've told me that before," he purred again as Ianto bit his lip. "I'll definitely have to visit more often."

Then Jack let go and walked away.

Ianto stood there for a moment before his brain caught up with what had just happened.

"Seriously, Jack?" Ianto groaned out to the empty hallway. "I hate you."


	20. Greeks Bearing Gifts

**A/N: **Hello, my dearest readers!

It's been a while. Again. Not only was this the hardest chapter to write so far, it also seems to be one of the longest ones. I originally wasn't going to write the last part at all, but my friend insisted I include it even though it is a bit silly. Also, ruined the ending.

I'm studying comics at an art school now! It means I don't have much time for fanfiction writing, but I'll try to write as much as I can, since writing is a good way to switch gears from drawing. And I'll need to start writing my super long comic project at some point, so here's to that.

Thank you everyone for your wonderful reviews!

**Warnings: **F/F relationship and all the typical Torchwood stuff

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 19: Greeks Bearing Gifts<strong>

Toshiko was sitting and reading the Daily Mail in the conference room. She looked up briefly as Ianto came into the room and started collecting the coffee mugs and plates scattered around one of the tables. He smiled in greeting and she nodded her head at him. She could feel the pendant start working, and soon Ianto's thoughts filled her head.

'_I can't imagine a time when this isn't everything...'_ Ianto's usually composed voice sounded so strained and broken it shocked her. '_Pain so constant it feels like my stomach is full of rats. Feels like this is all I am now... There isn't an inch of me that doesn't hurt._'

Toshiko sneaked a glance at Ianto, who had stopped collecting the dishes and now was walking towards her. He abandoned the tray of dirty mugs and plates on the table and pulled out a chair next to her. As he sat down, he was staring intensively at Toshiko, making her blink in surprise. Ianto rarely sought company, and now that she heard his thoughts...

"Ianto?" she asked hesitantly. Ianto sighed.

"Tosh, there's something I need to tell you," he said and the expression on his face took on a determined edge.

She didn't know what to say. "Uh, go ahead."

Ianto searched her face for something, and it seems like he found it because he let out another deep sigh. '_This is so hard, I wish Jack was here..._' he thought.

Toshiko managed not to react.

"Something happened to me some time ago..." he started, and wrung his hands. "Remember that morning when you found me sitting against the wall in the tourist office?"

Toshiko blinked in surprise. She could recall Ianto clutching a brown paper bag to his chest and looking like he was going to have a panic attack any minute, so she nodded.

"Well, that's when it happened. When I woke up that morning, to my surprise, I was several years in the past," he said, his expression completely serious. He frowned. "I didn't know what to do so I didn't tell anyone in a while, but I ended up explaining it all to Jack and Owen."

'_And they both to__ok it so bloody well. Those bastards._'

Toshiko could feel her face twitch a bit when Ianto cursed, but otherwise she didn't know how to react.

So she did the only thing she could think of and approached the problem from a scientific view point. Assuming Jack and Owen backed him up, Ianto had traveled back in time and was still working at Torchwood like nothing was wrong...

"But how is that possible?" She asked, frowning. "Shouldn't there be two of you now? And even then, wouldn't time traveling like that create a paradox..."

Ianto shook his head. "For some reason or other, I woke up in my younger body-" he said and then raised an eyebrow. "You believe me?"

That made Toshiko pause.

"I'm not sure..." she said, biting her lip. "But Jack believes you, right? He seems to know a lot about these things, I suppose it could be possible. But why are you telling me this?"

Ianto's lips curved into a small smile. "First off all, I'm telling you because you're my friend," he said and Tosh's mouth fell open.

Oh.

"I wasn't joking about taking you up on that Bondathon you know," he said and smiled. Toshiko looked down, but felt herself smiling back.

"And second... I know about Mary."

Toshiko looked up and saw in his eyes that he was serious. He knew everything.

And didn't that set off a whole tidal wave of _confusionfearembarrassmentanger._

"What do you mean you know about Mary?" Toshiko asked after a moment of silence. She could feel her mind fast forwarding, figuring out the best way to explain this to Jack without getting fired and retconned.

"I know she gave you that pendant," Ianto said slowly and nodded towards her.

Toshiko clutched the pendant and swallowed. "Is this all part of Jack's plan?" she asked and stood up. "Did Torchwood find out that Mary has information about us?"

Ianto's face softened. "No, I haven't told Jack anything," he said. 'Yet.'

"Then why are you telling me this?" she said, crossing her arms. "I don't believe you. You're just as bad as the rest of them!" She yelled, gritting her teeth.

"Tosh-!"

She didn't give Ianto time to answer, just stormed out of the conference room and gathered her belongings before leaving. She fumed all the way to home. She couldn't believe Jack would use Ianto like that, making him lie just so they could catch a potential security risk to Torchwood.

As she walked down the street to her flat, she noticed Mary sitting on a stone fence on the opposide side of the street from her house.

"Might have known you have my adress as well," she said, frowning. She walked past Mary and crossed the street.

Mary hopped down and followed her. "Did you tell them?"

Tosh glanced back at her. "No. I didn't."

She opened the door, threw her bag and keys on the table and took her leather jacket off. Hearing the door closing behind her, turned around and saw Mary, smiling smugly at her.

"What made you change your mind?" Mary asked.

Toshiko didn't bother answering. She stalked to her bag and rummaged through it, feeling like she was going to burst into angry tears any moment.

"I told you. Isn't it amazing, some of the stuff you hear?" Mary continued, not seeming to mind her furious attitude.

She finally found the pendant, and thrust it in front of Mary's face. "What is this thing?!" Tosh threw the pendant on the counter and took a faltering step back. "Why did you give it to me?" she asked, her voice cracking.

Mary looked confused. "I told you."

Tosh leaned against the table. "The things I heard..." she breathed out. "What they thought of me... What they really thought of me..."

Mary cocked her head.

"God!" Tosh managed to say, her hand at her mouth. "These are the people that are supposed to like me!"

"They do like you," Mary interrupted, making Tosh look at her. "People are complicated. They..." she let out a breath. "Okay, I should've warned you about this."

Toshiko turned away and opened the fridge, taking a bottle of beer out and opening it.

"It isn't like reading someone's diary. The stuff you hear, it's so deep, so personal. Stuff they're not even aware they're thinking."

Toshiko stopped, hovering over front of the opened bottle. She could hear her own voice faltering. She couldn't help thinking about Owen and Gwen, laughing at her, ruining her calculations she'd worked on for weeks.

"You think you know someone, and suddenly you see them for real, and they're... bastard little kids."

Mary stared at her, smiling faintly. "Not everything..." Tosh glanced at her. Mary took her jacket off. "Not everyone."

As Mary's gaze met Toshiko's, she felt like she was frozen in place. Mary stepped forward and grabbed the pendant, hovering it in front of Toshiko and putting it around her neck. Her hands lingered for a while, and then cupped Toshiko's face.

Tosh could feel her eyelids fluttering shut. "I wouldn't say your thoughts were exactly pure."

"At least they're consistent," Mary said and let go of her. "No agenda. No resentment."

Tosh glanced down. "They pity me. You don't pity me."

"Why would I?"

Tosh looked up at her, and she could feel herself blushing. "What you're thinking right now, that's pretty graphic."

"That wasn't my thought," Mary said, smiling mischievously.

Tosh blinked. "What?"

"I wasn't thinking anything, that wasn't my thought. Must have been ony of yours."

There was another one. "That one, there!" Tosh declared. "That's yours."

Mary grinned. "Yeah. _That_ was mine."

"I, uh..." Toshiko swallowed. "Certainly seem to be enjoying myself."

"You would," Mary said and took a step closer. Toshiko could only watch as Mary closed in on her, like predator on her prey. "You _will_."

Their lips met in a passionate kiss. And after that, it was pretty hard to tell who thought what.

* * *

><p>Afterwards, Tosh was sitting in her bed, clutching the duvet to herself as Mary stepped in at the doorway of the bedroom, a cigarette and a glass in her hands. She leant against the door frame. "You know, you have no cigarette trays in your house. Not a single one."<p>

"What are you using?" Tosh asked, looking down. The duvet was deep red. She didn't think she'd keep it.

Mary breathed out smoke and eyed the bright orange thing in her cigarette hand. "I think it's an egg cup." She moved to sit on the bed.

"I see." Tosh moved to sit on the opposite end, turning her back to Mary. She tried to fix her bangs from falling on her eyes, but it was futile.

"Freaking out a little?" Mary asked from behind her.

Toshiko hugged the duvet and didn't answer.

"Your birthday is July, right?" Mary asked.

Toshiko frowned. "You're the expert."

"Isn't it a little late to still have your cards out?"

"What?" Toshiko turned around and saw the birthday card from Owen in Mary's hand.

"Lots of love, Owen," Mary read out, her eyebrows rising. "I'm guessing that's Owen from _work_. Owen from the building site yesterday... Owen from the photo on the fridge."

"Put that down!" Tosh yelled, gathering the blanket around her.

"All I'm saying, I don't want to get in the way of anything..." Mary started.

Tosh snorted and stood up, the duvet pooling around her. "There's nothing to get in the way of!" Tosh ran to the bathroom and slammed the door shut. She dropped the duvet and started dressing in her purple silk robe.

"I see," she heard Mary say. "You wanna talk about it?"

"Not really!" she yelled through the door.

"It's okay," Mary said. "Wouldn't have been a first time I've been a rebound shag."

Toshiko finally fastened the robe and walked back into the bedroom. "You weren't, okay," she said to Mary and walked around the bed. "Nothings happened. Nothing will ever happen. Just one of the delightful little things I found out, thanks to your bloody pendant!"

Tosh grabbed the pendant off the bedside table and threw it at Mary. Then she climbed back into the bed and threw the covers on top of her head, feeling childish.

She felt Mary getting up and then returning back to bed. "It's not all bad, the pendant," Mary whispered as she laid next to Tosh. "Some of the things it can do are extraordinary."

Tosh raised the duvet and peeked at Mary from underneath.

"What good could ever come of it?"

Mary smiled. "You need to work that out yourself."

* * *

><p>Two days later, Toshiko was sitting at the plaza with Jack. They had been sitting there for a while, surrounded by the dark and cold airr and silence that was only broken by the waterfall behind them. Tosh couldn't help but marvel at the small piece of technology in her hands. It had changed her world in so many ways just in four days.<p>

Toshiko had just had her week of firsts, with Mary being the star of the show. First kiss with a woman, first shag with a woman... Not to mention an alien. She'd saved a family from a horrible death. And then Mary had tried to get information from her regarding the alien artifact they'd fount at the murder site. After listening to people's thoughts, Tosh had finally broken down and agreed to take Mary to the Hub.

And now she was gone. Burned to death at the heart of the sun.

Tosh gripped the pendant tighter. "It's funny, such a small thing. It could be the most powerful piece of technology we've ever found. It could tear down governments, wipe out armies," she said and looked at Jack. "What do we do with it?"

"Your call," Jack said.

Tosh looked down. "It's a curse." She dropped the pendant on the ground and crushed it with her heel.

Jack smiled.

They were silent for a while. Tosh thoughts wandered back to when she was reading her team's thoughts, and in particular to Jack's reaction. "Why couldn't I read your mind?" she asked.

Jack shook his head and shrugged. "I don't know." Tosh glanced at him. "Though I could feel you scrabbling around in there." He laughed.

"I got nothing!" Tosh said looking at him. Then she stared towards the people walking by. "It was like you were, I don't know, _dead_." When she looked back at Jack, his smile was gone and his eyes were dark.

Jack cheered up so quickly she thought she'd imagined it. "I want that list for UNIT on my desk tomorrow."

Toshiko nodded, feeling a bit shaken by the glimpse of expression she'd seen on his face. She felt like she had said the wrong thing.

"What do bosses do in situations like this?" Jack asked, perplexed. "Regular bosses? Do I get to beat people?"

Tosh smiled. "We've got rules for that!"

Jack groaned playfully. "Red tape!" he said and laughed.

Tosh hesitated. "Jack... There's something Ianto said earlier, the day I first put the pendant on," she started.

Jack straightened up at the mention of Ianto. "What is it?"

"He said he was from the future..." Tosh said, looking down. "I didn't believe him. I thought you put him up to it, that you'd found out about Mary and the pendant."

"He was speaking the truth, Tosh," Jack said. "Probably trying to warn you. But he noticed you didn't want to be warned and backed off. I didn't tell him to do anything."

She looked up at Jack. The corners of his mouth were turned down and he was frowning. He looked … sad.

"I heard him. When I was wearing the pendant," Tosh said. Jack looked at her sharply. "His thoughts were..." She swallowed. "He sounded like he was in pain."

The expression on Jack's face slackened until it was unreadable.

Tosh bit her lip. "Do you think he's going to be okay?"

Jack looked at her, hesitating.

"I don't know."

* * *

><p>-I-A-N-T-O-B-O-N-U-S-!-<p>

Tosh approached Ianto when he was preparing for his first coffee run of the day. He glanced back at her and smiled.

"Hey Tosh," Ianto said. "Do you need anything?"

Tosh looked down and wrung her hands together, shaking her head. She didn't want to pry into Ianto's things, but she was honestly worried about him.

"I'm sorry I didn't believe you when you first tried to warn me," Tosh said.

Ianto hummed. "It's okay, Tosh," he said and poured coffee into five mugs. "I should've known it sounded too far fetched, and I didn't exactly pick a good time."

He poured a spoonful of sugar into one of the mugs and stirred.

"I was wearing the pendant then..." Tosh continued.

Ianto looked up. "Oh?" He raised an eyebrow, somehow managing to do it elegantly while pouring a sip of milk into two of the mugs.

Tosh swallowed. "You sounded like you were in a lot of pain."

"Huh?" Ianto blinked, and stopped stirring, abandoning the spoon on a little plate. Where did that plate even come from?

"Your thoughts, they made it sound like you were in pain, just before you sat down next to me that day," she said hesitantly.

"Oohhhhhhhh!" Ianto said, his eyes widening. Then he _laughed. _

Toshiko twitched in shock.

"Oh god!" Ianto said, doubled over from laughter. "You must've been listening when I was moaning about how sore I was! Just started a new gym routine, and I had a really bad case of Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness!" he said in between chuckles. He scratched his neck. "I'm really sorry I worried you."

Oh.

"That's okay..." Tosh said, smiling in relief. "I shouldn't have been listening anyway."


End file.
